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Do You Love Paradoxes? Embrace Happiness Paradoxes
I’ve always loved paradoxes and koans, and was very struck by an observation by physicist Niels Bohr: “There are trivial truths and great truths. The opposite of a trivial truth is plainly false. The...
View ArticleThe Four Most Terrifying Words You Can Say to a Man
Compliant and misogynist mirage men are poor communicators with their wives by design. They fear the emotional and legal consequences if they show their true selves after building a relationship based...
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Back From a Vacation? Don't Waste Your Clear Mind on the Small Stuff
If you are one of those people like me who think for a living, then you've probably noticed just how much clearer your mind is after a break of some sort. Especially a break where you haven't thought...
View ArticleWriter's Block
I see a lot of writers in my practice and every one of them has gotten blocked at one time or another. It isn’t hard to figure out why. Imagine sitting in a room by yourself trying to create a whole...
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Building Confidence and Self-Esteem
Self-esteem is affected by physical ill-health, negative life events such as losing your job or getting divorced, deficient or frustrating relationships, and a general sense of lack of control. This...
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Leadership Often Means Embracing Uncertainty
On the whole politicians, like the rest of us, are a cautious breed. They tend towards risk avoidance when it comes to decision making, with an array of focus group and opinion poll data informing...
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If Music Be the Food of Love
There is a certain fasacination with finding the first appearance of any behavior, particularly one that so influences human emotions as music. Try thinking of the memorable scores to movies that have...
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The Mathematical Origins of Monogamy
Don't be mad once you see that he want it If you liked it, you shoulda put a ring on it. -- Beyonce, Single Ladies As a computational neuroscientist I'm a sucker for mathematical models of human...
View ArticleRate My Shrink: Online Reviews of Mental Health Care Professionals
I like reviews. A movie tonight? I'm off to RottenTomatoes.com to check it out. Hungry? First to Yelp to see the reviews and and whether any particular dishes are to be checked out or avoided, before...
View ArticleJoe Biden’s Take on Suicide
It’s not every day that the Vice President of the United States stands up and said that he thought about suicide.That was just last Friday.As we entered the Memorial Day weekend, Vice President Biden...
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Why "Awake" Is a Positive Psychology Show
I figured I’d follow up my previous blog post—Diagnosing Awake—with some thoughts on the season finale. For those of you unfamiliar with the show or my previous post, Awake, according to IMDB, is about...
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Do All Bugs Go to Heaven? What People Think About Animals in the Afterlife
I love the Psychology Today blog All Dogs Go to Heaven by bioethicist Jessica Pierce. Just the title raises a fascinating question. According to a Gallup poll 80% of Americans believe that people go...
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Psychotherapists: Mechanics, Surgeons, or Rehab Workers?
Have you ever noticed that people often think that psychotherapists are like car mechanics? It reminds me of an old boyfriend of mine who used to give nicknames to the women he was dating. My...
View ArticleA Kinder, Gentler Divorce
Divorce. I was appalled by the very word. Good girls didn’t get divorced. I had always been a good girl. A good Midwestern, Catholic girl. But, I was going to get divorced.What’s more, the divorce...
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Pride in Grindr: A Sex-Positive, Global Cyber Space For Gay Men
By Melissa Ritter, Ph.D.June is Gay Pride Month. What better time to celebrate Grindr, a sex-positive, global cyber space—and meeting place--for gay men. Yup, you read right. That’s Grindr, a free...
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5 Danger Signs Along the Way to Falling Off an Infidelity Cliff
My posting several weeks ago on How to Get Back an Ex included excerpts from emails sent to be by one of my clients, Peter. Pater has continued to journal to help himself heal and grow after his wife...
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Does self-compassion or self-criticism motivate self-improvement?
If you're a regular reader of this blog, you already know where I stand on this issue. Self-compassion beats self-criticism any day, and in every way. But I had to share the latest set of studies...
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Nonbelievers who aren't atheists?
If you don’t believe in any gods, you are an atheist, right? This definition seems pretty basic, not the kind of material that requires an advanced degree in theology to understand.But apparently it...
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When Nice Guys Finish First
The tension between group and individual interests is famously illustrated by the prisoners’ dilemma game. In a variant called the voluntary contribution mechanism, each of several...
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Parties Divided?
Based upon its most recent Values Survey, the Pew Research Center reports that Americans values have remained fairly stable for the past twenty five years but Republicans and Democrats hardly seem to...
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