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Think You're Thinking? 6 Reasons to Think Again
The upside to researching is that you’re always learning something new. The downside is that, sometimes, you have to trash some of your most treasured beliefs and illusions. Both happened during the...
View ArticleThe Unhappy Life
A recently published study in the Journal of Positive Psychology revealed some specific differences between meaningfulness and happiness. It turns out that a meaningful life can be an unhappy one, but...
View ArticleThe True Value of Workplace Feedback
Countless studies have documented the significant career benefits of collecting feedback from colleagues about our business performance and approaches. The concept is not new, and the value is real. So...
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Fantability Vs. Viscereality… Oh, and Surfing
I keep almost writing a piece on winter surf as a paradigm for hope and a hedge against depression. It would go like this: Imagine, or more aptly, recall a bitter, subseasonally cold day in the...
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Silence: A Relationship Killer
Over the many years that I’ve been practicing therapy, I’ve found that couples that are struggling in their relationships often succumb to the default mode of silence. Sometimes, it’s one person who...
View ArticlePain Is Inevitable; Suffering Is Optional
“Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.” —Viktor FranklIn Man’s Search for Meaning, Dr....
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What Justifies a Rape-Threat Tweet?
The answer of course is that, morally speaking, nothing justifies a “rape-threat” tweet. Such an act is an obvious affront to basic moral sensibilities, and thus anyone who has a genuine sense of...
View ArticleSupercharging Your New Year's Resolutions
1. Go see The Secret Life of Walter Mitty Mid-January is the perfect time to boost your New Year’s Resolutions. How? If you haven’t done it already, start off by going to see The Secret Life of Walter...
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The Paradox of Change: An Open Letter To Change Seekers
The Paradox of ChangeI hear you say things aren’t quite right these days, that you’re eager for change. And underneath that eagerness lies some fear. And underneath that fear, something deeply...
View ArticleAre You in a Dysfunctional Relationship?
All relationships are more or less dysfunctional in different ways and at different times. No perfect relationships exist. In order to stay in a committed relationship, most intimate partners adapt to...
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Mourning Is the Key
Mourning allows us to recover from deaths and losses; it is what allows us to recover from trauma; it is the healing process in psychotherapy. It is the central biological process of the...
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Rich, Entitled, and Narcissistic
Narcissists are self-centered people who take the view that they are far more important than the people around them. They promote themselves to the exclusion of others and take other people’s successes...
View ArticleThe Bedbug Dilemma
A few years ago, a bedbug epidemic took place in New York City. The media hyped the problem and many people were fearful of staying in hotels, going to the movies or being in situations where the...
View ArticleObama Is Typical of Men His Age When It Comes to Friendships
Much has been made about what a loner President Obama is. But then we read that he has played multiple rounds of golf with his childhood friends (the Choom Gang) on his recent vacation in Oahu. We also...
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Are You an “Energizer” or a “De-Energizer” at Work?
I’m re-posting this quiz, because I’ve been thinking a lot about this issue lately.I read Cross and Perker’sThe Hidden Power of Social Networks: Understanding How Work Really Gets Done in...
View ArticleDo You Have a Pleasure Ceiling?
It’s sometimes true. My sex and intimacy clients teach me all the time through their openness in sharing their feelings. It happened again, just other day. I was in the middle of working with an...
View ArticleLabel Yourself
#1So, what do you do?“Well, I used to be a lawyer, but that was many years ago now, but I don’t regret it, it taught me a ton about communication, but anyway, then I owned a health club because I just...
View ArticleThe Ultimate Man Cave
To a slightly dyslexic person like me, the words "man cave" can be mistaken for "cave man," but whoever coined the phrase "man cave" probably had prehistoric creatures in mind anyway. A recent article...
View ArticleADHD Relationships: When Helping Out Hurts Your Partnership
One of the most common issues in troubled ADHD/non-ADHD partnerships is that of parent/child dynamics. That is, a non-ADHD partner becomes the partner in control, while an ADHD partner loses authority....
View Article7 Reasons Most People are Afraid of Love
Around this time last year, Virgin Mobile USA proclaimed Feb. 13 to be “National Breakup Day.” They did so after conducting a survey in which 59 percent of people said that if they were looking to end...
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