This has been a year that can use all the Joy we can feel.  But when Xmas and Joy to the World pass on December 26, we should remember that "what the world needs now is love sweet love."

Love at its best overflows with tenderness. Tenderness is what comforts and heals pain and suffering from the inside out.  Pain is pain, suffering is being alone in pain.  When you take away people's aloneness, suffering they can't tolerate becomes pain that they can. The problem and challenge is that tenderness can't be rushed and in our go-go, get more, sooner world it is actually in danger of becoming extinct.

Please don't let that happen.

Watch Naomi Feil take away Gladys Wilson's aloneness and suffering through Tender Loving Care*. Then go be tender with someone who needs your love to ease their suffering (https://vimeo.com/115325078).

Together we can heal the world, one conversation at a time.

Imagine the possibilities.

* Tender Loving Care - If you found yourself tearing up as you watched Naomi comfort Gladys and would like to understand why, here is an explanation that comes from my life's work studying, understanding and teaching listening.  

I believe empathy exists on a continuum from sociopathy to antipathy to sympathy to cognitive empathy to emotional empathy. And as with beauty, will all of them, how such a response from others is in the response reaction of the beholder.

1. Sociopathy - you feel people are not just tuned into you, but in doing so, they have your number and then use it to take advantage of you.
2. Antipathy - you feel people are frustrated, angry, turned off or at its worst, repulsed by you and primed to attack you.
3. Sympathy - you feel that people feel sorry for you, which is ncertainly better than the prior two, but at its worst, you can feel pitied by them.
4. Cognitive Empathy - you feel understood by people. And that instead of their taking advantage of you, being angry at you or pitying you, you feel that they are saying to you that what you are feeling makes sense for you to feel.
5. Emotional Empathy - you feel felt by people.  When that occurs you feel safe, less alone and embraced by people.  When that happens you may begin to cry, not from sadness, but from feeling relief.  As we explained at the beginning, when that happens, suffering you may not think you can tolerate or even live with, becomes comfort that totally connects with you in your suffering and becomes something you can live with.  And when that happens, you feel hope.

If you teared up when watching Naomi Feil emotionally empathize with Gladys Wilson, it's because you know what it's like to feel suffering and alone and in need of an emotional connection.

It's that time of year when I'm bombarded with questions about losing weight and/or making positive changes in one's life. When learning that I took off and have kept off 250-plus pounds of excess weight over a decade ago, friends, family members and strangers all want to know my "secret." When they hear it was accomplished through old-fashioned eating less and moving more, they register a look of disappointment (having wanted the "magic wand" answer). But they still commit to losing weight and getting into shape for the New Year -- resolutions I whole-heartedly support via my blog, Just Stop Eating So Much!, as well as my writeups for for Psychology Today.

But no matter what your resolutions this January, you might be surprised that when it comes to the common "Out with the old and in with the new" attitude, I actually encourage people to hold onto the old.

There are lots of reasons for this -- beginning with the unhelpful notion that we've been doing things "wrong" up until now. Fact is, now is where we're at. This month. This day. This minute. And everything we've gone through (even the seemingly mistaken decisions) has made us who we are today. And this includes being someone who's ready to initiate real and lasting change.

When we start bashing ourselves, mentally, or even deciding that we've been living life incorrectly, we fall into a trap that can actually lead us back to the bingeing (or whatever) cycles that got us into this need for change predicament in the first place.

Instead, I suggest not only accepting your past, but embracing it. Keep it as a part of who you are -- and wear it as a gold medal ribbon that indicates you're not only a survivor, but a thriver.

There are actually some very good lessons to be found in our past mistakes. For example, I remember when I used to overdo it, food-wise, and would wake up in the middle of the night in terrible pain, sweating profusely and tasting the remnants of the previous night's meal in my throat because the food in my overstuffed stomach was virtually bubbling over. I also remember what it was like to have an important meeting (whether for business or even with a friend I hadn't seen in ages) and having to say a "Hail Mary" (even though I'm not Catholic) in order to get my jeans up around my hips. (Side note: Mary often did not come through and I had to opt for sweatpants with a more forgiving waist.)

Remembering these things helps me in the now -- even over 10 years after I took off all of the excess weight. It's a part of who I am. I know these are situations I never want to have to experience again. Thus I now reach for an apple more often than a donut as a result. And on that same note, I even keep the reasons that I started overeating in the first place with me (abusive parents, sexual predator, my love of ice cream -- the list goes on, all of which is chronicled in my book, Weightless: My Life As A Fat Man And How I Escaped). To deny or suppress that any of these issues happened might lead the same kind of behavior that had me overeating in the first place -- stuffing down these memories with food in an effort to try and block them from my psyche.

Don't get me wrong. I don't wear these life events as scars, but as merit badges... As proof that I have what it takes to survive. And that means I have what it takes to meet any goals (whether food-, health- or otherwise-related). Sometimes "Well, that happened" can be the best kind of therapy. With acceptance comes peace. And with peace comes the real ability to ask yourself, "Where do I want to go from here?" 

So as the new year begins and you look in the mirror with determination to accomplish whatever goals you've carved out for yourself, remember to look at your whole self... Every inch of yourself (both physically and metaphorically). You have made all the right decisions in the past -- even if you would make some of them differently today. But just the very fact that you know this proves that you learned from those supposed "incorrect" decisions -- and that you can make more productive decisions from here on out.

Own your "old." Embrace it. Accept it. And choose to move forward -- hopefully with not only determination, but also grace, gratitude and a sense of humor (all of which will, thankfully, add no additional calories to your New Year eating plan).

If you believe it is hard to maintain healthy weight because you lack something, like discipline, will power, or just common sense, your weight management efforts will rise from shame of who you are, rather than value of your health and well being. When the shame becomes exhausting, distracting, confusing, or overwhelming, as it always does, the brain reverts to habits, which require far less mental energy. That means more overeating and attacks on food.

Your problem in reaching and maintaining desired weight is not due to personal failings. You have plenty of discipline - you have gone through so much trouble time and time again to lose weight. You certainly have will power or you wouldn't keep trying after each relapse. The problem lies not in you but in your programs.

No weight control program can succeed by dominating your consciousness with food and weight. A successful program must develop a conditioned response to regulate eating automatically, without having to "stop and think about it." The trick is to condition the core hurt (inadequacy or unworthiness that makes you want to overeat) to stimulate core value - a sense of yourself as a healthy and well creator of value. I call it, core value eating.

Motivate Yourself with Acts of Kindness

Because eating behavior is mostly habituated, relapse is inevitable, particularly under stress. A key to maintaining weight-loss is to motivate yourself with acts of kindness, not with the punishment of guilt and shame when you relapse. Ask yourself, who are more likely to repeat mistakes, those who punish themselves or those who value themselves? Who is more likely to sustain desirable weight, the valued self or the devalued self?

Begin your commitment to core value eating by listing five "Acts of Kindness" that you will do for yourself when you have a temporary relapse of overeating or attacks on food. In making your list, think of what will help you eat from your core value next time.

Before you eat, think less about food and weight and more about creating value in your life, e.g., developing appreciation of basic humanity, meaning, purpose, love, spirituality, nature, creativity, community, and compassion. You'll be surprised at how you will eat less when food becomes less important than health and wellbeing in your value structure.

Condition skills to eat from your core value.

Scientists worldwide have reached consensus that global climate change is real and human-caused. Global average temperatures are rising, regional climates are destabilizing, and human activity is the main driver of these changes. There’s also agreement that these changes already are impacting modern society with, for example, more severe and damaging storms and droughts that are causing declines in agricultural production in various places. And the problems are going to get much worse.

If you don't believe that there's a consensus about global climate change both as a reality and as a major problem caused by human activity, please read these two sources and do your own research (but don’t cherry pick from the tiny number of dissenting studies out of the thousands that support the consensus):

http://climate.nasa.gov/scientific-consensus

http://www.skepticalscience.com/global-warming-scientific-consensus-basic.htm

Researchers also agree that society’s responses to climate change are wholly inadequate and are leaving people vulnerable: future generations and today’s poorest, who can’t afford to move to a higher elevation to avoid floods or to a place where enough rain will continue to fall to support their farming. 

Why the Inertia?

Who’s responsible for our national and global lack of movement toward a healthier planet? With all of the complex factors that determine the course of modern society, it’s difficult to point the finger at any one group, but some groups certainly deserve a larger share of the blame for inaction. The United States obviously wields great political power and influence in the world, but our elected leaders have shown little leadership on climate change. It certainly doesn’t help that one of our two main political parties has adopted a near-universal stance of denial when it comes to climate change: the Republicans.

The U.S. Republican party stands alone in the developed, industrialized world as the only major political party to fail to acknowledge that global climate change is real, is damaging (not just to nature but to people and the economy), and requires us to change the way we do business.1 Not that other U.S. politicians have rallied vigorously enough to lead the nation to significantly reduce fossil-fuel and other emissions that cause climate change. But the Republican party, with all of its denial that the problem even exists, presents perhaps the greatest obstacle to action against climate change, particularly now that they will control both houses of congress.

In my view, as the 21^st century rolls on and the damages become increasingly evident, the Republican position will look increasingly absurd, and shame will befall the party of recalcitrance and inaction.

Social Domination Leading to Nature Domination?

How can we get past this stumbling block—a voting bloc of climate change deniers? First, it’s necessary to understand the origins of their denial, and that’s where psychology comes in.

In a previous post I discuss studies revealing pathways of denial for Conservative White Males (CWMs) regarding climate change and other environmental problems. They tend to credit or dismiss risks (such as flooding or droughts that impact farming) in a way that supports their cultural identities as conservatives; it’s hard to go against the grain of the conservative movement. They also exhibit “system-justifying” tendencies because of their beliefs in the validity and justice of current economic and power systems; the problem of climate change challenges our current systems, so conservatives feel a compulsion to dismiss the threat. CWMs also identify with elite CWMs such as Rush Limbaugh and defend that perceived in-group’s anti-environmental worldview, which means dismissing any scientific facts that might imply the need for more regulation.

Researchers have recently been able to discover other aspects of conservative and Republican ideologies that underlie this harmful process of denial (not that Republicans or conservatives are the only people practicing denial about a subject—just that their denial in this case is particularly harmful). Psychologists defined two concepts to try to capture relevant conservative beliefs. Right-Wing Authoritarianism (RWA) is a “cluster” of attitudes that includes authoritarian submission (people should submit to the authority of a strong ruler), authoritarian aggression (violence or any other means must be used to destroy threats to the state), and conventionalism (new ways and sinfulness threaten the social order). Social Dominance Orientation (SDO), on the other hand, predisposes people to support group or identity based social hierarchy (that it’s good and acceptable for one group of people to gain power over another—equality is not a fundamental value) and intergroup dominance (for example that it’s good for Americans to dominate the world politically and economically).

A recent study shows that although RWA and SDO are both common among conservatives, Republicans, and climate change deniers, but only the SDO aspect of these groups can help explain their persistent efforts to disregard the evidence and deny scientific consensus.2 The researchers, Kirsti Häkkinen and Nazar Akrami, argue that since people with SDO predispositions support group-based social hierarchies, they may similarly extend this acceptance of domination to an acceptance of human domination over nature. Because SDO includes system-justification motives, high-SDO people may also be driven to protect and defend the status quo and thus reject calls to change the way our economy and society work, even if they harm nature, and even if they harm some human groups as well.

Apparently, many high-SDO people don’t yet realize that climate change is expected to threaten the very economic basis on which their lives (and those of their descendants) depend, not just the lives of poor people whom it is already harming.

On a positive note, the same researchers discovered that some high-SDO research subjects became less likely to deny climate change when shown a video newscast presenting information from the latest authoritative study (by the IPCC) on global climate change and the increasing certainty regarding the information. So even when people are motivated to reject climate change evidence, they may still be open to new information on the subject.

This last part is the heartening part. Even people with the greatest motivation to deny climate change—because it challenges their beliefs in the appropriateness of our current economic system, that it portends the need for change, that it implicitly criticizes right-wing authority figures, and so on—can shift, perhaps ever so gradually, toward greater acceptance of the scientific consensus that we’re doing major harm to the planet and, because of our economic dependence on nature, to ourselves—so change is needed. And that in the long term nobody may be immune to the effects of global climate change.

Check out my book: Invisible Nature

Follow me: Twitter or Facebook

Read more of my posts: The Green Mind

1. http://www.nationaljournal.com/columns/political-connections/gop-gives-climate-science-a-cold-shoulder-20101009 ; http://www.treehugger.com/corporate-responsibility/why-are-the-republicans-the-worlds-only-major-political-party-denying-climate-change.html ; http://www.newyorker.com/news/daily-comment/republicans-united-on-climate-change ; http://www.theguardian.com/environment/2014/nov/17/climate-change-denial-scepticism-republicans-congress .

2. Kirsti Häkkinen and Nazar Akrami, “Ideology and climate change denial,” Personality and Individual Differences 70 (2014) 62–65.

I am a passionate mental health advocate. I created Stigma Fighters  with the idea in mind of having a community of people who could speak candidly about mental illness. It is a cause close to my heart because I lived in silence with depression and panic disorder for the majority of my adult life. I wanted others to be able to speak freely about mental health issues without fear of being judged. That was the idea behind Stigma Fighters. People could share their personal journeys with one another and in turn, they would have a sense of support and togetherness.

Since forming Stigma Fighters the organization, I have experienced another side to mental health activism. Unfortunately, mental health advocates can be highly competitive with one another. People want to tell you what they have done, what they have accomplished, who they know and so on. The reason for this is so that they can satisfy their own egos. It has absolutely nothing to do with the cause of mental health itself.

This saddens me. As mental health activists we need to support one another's efforts. I certainly did not invent the idea of being a mental health activist. I am thrilled that there are millions of other people out there telling their stories and fighting against the stigma of mental illness. That is what we need to be doing. That's what this is about. We need to be fighting for equality. We need to put our fists up against discrimination towards the mentally ill. 

We do not need to be patronizing each other. We do not need to be telling other people that they haven't done enough in the field of mental health advocacy. That is discouraging, rude, and wrong. 

If you are a mental health advocate and you are doing good work for the cause, I support you. I encourage you. I am proud of you. I stand with you. Because we are the same, even though we are two different human beings, we are fighting for the same cause. Keep talking about mental health issues. Keep fighting and let's stand together instead of apart. Peace. 

You know that you could really use a break.

You’re frustrated and irritable. Your energy levels are low. Everything feels like a chore. You’re easily distracted from the tasks at hand, and you’re no longer working efficiently.  

Yet you can’t seem to allow yourself to take any time off. Despite being convinced of the benefits of a “rest note” (see last month’s entry), you can’t seem to step out of your stream of activity, even for a brief time.

What kinds of thoughts might be preventing you from taking a rest?  Here are seven possible culprits. 

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“I can’t have fun until all of my work is done.” This is one of those principles from childhood that has some reasonable logic behind it: Yes, the ability to delay gratification can indeed help us to be good workers and high achievers. But in some seasons of adult life, we may find that our work is never entirely done. As soon as we bail out the boat, it seems to fill right up again. So we continue to trudge on, but we get more and more tired and frustrated. And here we can get into a danger zone in terms of mental health: Excessive delay of gratification may lead us down the road to resentment and depression. We need some pleasure and rest to keep ourselves emotionally steady.   

“It’s better to work than to rest.” Most of us have been taught, directly, or indirectly, that hard work is morally right; it’s a virtue. We hear this message over and over from authority figures--parents, teachers, bosses--and eventually we internalize it. We feel like we are being good when we are working, but we feel guilt and shame if we take a break. We might even come to believe that God is more pleased with us when we are working than when we are resting. If we’re highly motivated to be good people and see work as a vital part of being good, these beliefs alone may be enough to keep us hammering away. (It’s interesting that many of us from Judeo-Christian traditions, though quick to focus on the virtues of work, seem to have trouble embracing the Sabbath rest principle.) 

“I’m no slacker.” Most of us take some sense of pride in a job well done.But this need to achieve can sometimes cross a line, where we start to rely on our achievements to shore up a shaky sense of self-worth. Social comparisons can fuel these fires of pride. If others around you are really busting their tails, you might feel like a loser if you don’t keep up. On the other hand, if you’re surrounded by people who are messing around and wasting time, you might want to distance yourself from those slackers.  

“I don’t NEED a break.” You might take pride in being self-reliant or stoic, pushing forward aggressively toward your goals despite hardships. You’re tough! You can handle any challenge that life throws at you. You’re not going to wimp out now by taking a break. OK, fine. It might be true that you can push through...but what are you trying to prove? To whom? In the bigger picture, is this really wisdom?

"If I stop, I’ll never get started again.” You might worry that if you let yourself unwind, you won’t ever get back in the saddle. After all, physics tells us that a body in motion tends to stay in motion, and a body at rest tends to stay at rest—right? Yes, there is some truth here. A prolonged couch potato mode may leave you feeling sluggish and passive. But you don’t have to let it get to this stage. If you’re nervous about whether you’ll be able to get going again, then think about how much time you want to take off: Do you need an hour or two? A day? A week? Longer? You can set your mind at ease by planning a clear time to return—or at least a time to re-evaluate and see how you’re feeling. 

“I can’t afford to take a break.” Sometimes we feel like we simply can't afford the luxury of time off. The cost of stepping away seems too great, in terms of our finances, job security, or deadlined commitments. OK, so it may be true that the timing is wrong for a long break. But under these conditions, you'll still benefit if you can grab whatever small bits of time you can find for yourself---a few minutes here, an hour or two there. And if at all possible, start looking ahead, past this busy season: Is there a natural time in the near future where you could plan to step back and take a longer break? If finances are the issue, could you seek out a financial advisor for guidance? If you are facing parenting or caregiving strain, could you bring in someone to help, even for short periods? 

 “I just can’t seem to get around to it.” The things that we don’t get around to doing are often those that we consider less important—especially if they are also not urgent. (See Stephen Covey’s excellent writing on this point.) So you might be perfectly convinced that it would be nice for you to take a break; but unless you assign it some serious weight and make it a priority—which in some cases, might mean coming out and scheduling it—you might never get around to it. 

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So...which of these thoughts are keeping you from taking that break that you desperately need? 

Life is what happens when you're busy making (and breaking) New Year's resolutions — with apologies to John Lennon.

How would you like to make and keep your New Year's resolutions this year and make your intimate relationship stronger?

Here's the secret.

First of all, you need to do this with a partner. And the more committed you are to each other's success and happiness, and the more you wouldn't want to disappoint them, the better.

Then say to your partner, "I'd like your help with keeping my New Year's resolutions this year. (If they're committed to your happiness and success, they'll agree.) Your respect and esteem for me means a lot. As a result, you're someone I wouldn't want to make a commitment or promise to and then flake out. What I'd like to do is imagine it is Jan. 1, 2016, and as I look out at my life including my health, my job, my family, my friends and especially our relationship, I want to imagine saying to myself and to you, 'It's as good as it can get.' You can also feel free to weigh in what you think would help me in all those areas. Then I'm going to write down what I see and share it with you and then think of the first step toward it, starting today. Then going forward, every night before I go to bed I'm going to write down, 'What can I get done by the end of tomorrow to stay on track to keeping my commitment to those resolutions and you?' Now here's where you come in and where I'd like your help. If you're willing, I'd like you to send me a text or email on the last day of each month asking me, 'How are you doing with regard to your resolutions?'"

You may tell that other person that you'd be happy to return the favor if there is something that they would like to resolve to do, but let that be their choice.

One of the reasons this may work for you is that when it comes to making resolutions, the majority of people have a reverse cognitive bias instead of a forward cognitive bias.

A forward cognitive bias means you can see clearly into the future and see the day-to-day steps you'll need to take to make it happen. When you ask people with a forward cognitive bias what their goals for the year are, they have no problem in spelling them out. They have a much better chance of keeping New Year's resolutions.

A reverse cognitive bias means that you tend to wait for things to happen and then react to them. One common example is that instead of being clear about choosing a place to eat with your partner, you get into a mini-disagreement, and then after you go to the place and eat there, you react by saying it was good or bad, expensive or cheap, etc. People with a reverse cognitive bias have trouble seeing into the future and become confused by the word "goal." And when they pick one, they have trouble sticking to it. They have problems keeping New Year's resolutions.

Why imagining it is Jan. 1, 2016, and imagining life is "as good as it gets" works is that most people, including those with a reverse cognitive bias, will be able to see that more clearly than trying to figure out what their goals are.

And why partnering with someone whose respect and esteem matter to you to hold you accountable works, is that you may not get too upset when you disappoint yourself, but you'll get very upset if you disappoint that person (even though they're not as likely to be as hard on you).

In fact, I'm guessing that if the above makes you nervous, it's because you don't have confidence in your being able to resist temptation and impulses and distractions in order to keep your resolutions, and are nervous about disappointing that other person.

If that is the case, one additional tip you might find helpful is to think of drawing a line in your mind between the past and the present. Then say to yourself, "Up until now, I have not been able to keep New Year's resolutions. But starting now, one day at a time and one resolution at a time, I will."

Happy New Year, and good luck.

One of my oldest and dearest friends recently passed away after a long battle with cancer. I was more than honored when his wife, whom I had met when they were on their first date, called and asked if there was anything I could offer to help her cope with her loss.

I paused for a moment, not wanting to trivialize her suffering with psychobabble clichés. After some deliberation, I suggested two things, neither one being a quick fix and both requiring some follow-up coaching. A first was to honor her feelings of grief, but to also work to eliminate her depression, by ridding all vestiges of irrational thinking. The second was to work to gracefully except her painful feelings of grief, believing that they were healthy and appropriate and trusting they would abate over time. 

You see, most people upset themselves over their upsets, thereby creating a secondary emotional problem on top of their primary one. They guilt trip themselves about their anger. They react with depression about being depressed. They get anxious, even terrified, about their anxiety. Now they have two emotional problems for the price of one. This not only compounds their misery, but it also makes it twice as hard to find happiness.

As I write this, I think of one of my current patients. He presented severe depression that debilitated his motivation, energy, and libido, not to mention rendering him miserable. Topping that, he roundly condemned himself or his condition, thereby creating more depression and guilt for himself. He thought: “I shouldn't be so weak.” “I'm letting my family down.” “What a loser I am!” 

I think of my 82-year-old widowed aunt who frets about the minor breakdowns in her life – the TV that goes on the blink, the icy roads that make it hazardous to get to the grocery store, getting Christmas gifts to the post office in a timely manner. Worse, she panics about her anxieties, telling herself, “I can't stand this,” “I'm going to crack up.” “What will become of me?”

Then there’s 45-year-old Sharon who suffers from deep fears of abandonment that make her anxious, clingy, and insecure in her primary relationships. The rub is that she feels so ashamed of these “weaknesses” that she denies their existence and blames her significant others for her interpersonal woes. 

As a psychotherapist, I face two challenges when I deal with people who present two levels of disturbance. The first is to help them get over their secondary disturbance – their guilt and shame over their anger, their depression about their depression; the anxiety about their anxiety. The second is to assist them in conquering their original disturbance, whatever it may be. It is very difficult to help people over their primary emotional problems when guilt ridden, depressed, or anxious about it.

What I want for you, dear reader, is for you to stubbornly refuse to go bargain-basement shopping for downers. That is, I want you to learn how to not upset yourself about being upset – to gracefully lump your feel bads, and then to get on with the business of creating happiness for yourself. So, sear these realities into your mind.

• There will be regular breakdowns in your life. These can be minor – the flat tire, the electrical power failure, the flu bug on your birthday. But, they can also be major – the death of a loved one, the need for surgery, a business setback. The bad news is that you will likely face some of each in your lifetime; the good news is that you will survive them. Regardless, you would be wise to (1) expect that you too will face adversities as you travel through life and (2) refuse to think that you are a special case and they should never happen to you

• You will likely feel upset of one kind or another when you face these breakdowns. Feeling frustration, annoyance, sadness, sorrow, and/or concern are normal and healthy emotional reactions to adversity. Feeling anger, depression, guilt, and/or anxiety are overreactions that result from you thinking irrationally about these adversities. If you find yourself mired in the latter, please seek out a competent cognitive-behavior therapist to help you past it.

• When you do get upset over some breakdown in your life, take care not to make yourself upset about being upset. There is an old adage that has some wisdom to it: “Have it and it won't have you.” Once you gracefully lump being upset, you give yourself three gifts: (1) you do not create a secondary emotional problem on top of your first one; (2) you can go about your day with a “so what” attitude about your upset, thereby still being productive and maybe even finding pockets of pleasure; (3) you can work constructively to rid your original upset, encumbered by this additional emotional baggage.

Gracefully Lumping Feel Bads

Here are five strategies you can use to gracefully lump the inevitable feel bads you will experience in life. Remember: it is insane to get upset about being upset; this only compounds your upset and leads to nothing constructive.

1. Drop “I can't stand it.” People often adopt this attitude in the face of feeling bad. But, this is a non-sensical way of thinking because nothing – nothing! – is unstandable. What you experience may be unpleasant, difficult, even painful. Yet, it is standable. You will live through it, it will be time-limited, and you will be undamaged when it's over. If you make yourself believe you can stand your feel bads, you will lump them gracefully, and get on with the job of feeling better. 

2. Don't whine. Whining is a form of “I'm special.” When you whine, you communicate to yourself that you, being a special case in the universe, shouldn't even ever experience adversity or feel bads. Nonsense! Of course you are not special such that your life should always be carefree. Of course you should (statistically speaking, anyway) suffer at times like all the rest of us.

3. Seek out pleasure. Often when people are upset, they shut down. They pull down the shades, take the phone off the hook, and cover themselves with blankets. All this encourages brooding and self-pity. Better to take charge and seek out comfort and pleasure – get in the hot tub, listen to music, go to the movies, cuddle with a loved one, make yourself a banana split. One of my patients made a long list of pleasurable activities from which to select when feeling down. Perhaps it would be a good idea for you to do this as well.

4. Count your blessings. Nobody in their right mind wants to feel unhappy. Yet, like the flu, it's easy to get caught up in unhappiness so that all the good in life gets ignored. When you are upset is perhaps as important a time as any to review what is good in your life – your loved ones and friends, your hobbies and interests, your creature comforts. You could even go one step further and celebrate what's good in your life with gratitude. (See my November 30, 2014 blog, “Happiness With Life 3: Practice Gratitude”).

5. Connect and give. What better way to get outside your own unhappiness than to reach out to others? Sharing in the warmth of friendship and affection can balm almost any pain. Even better, focus on showing others affection, being interested in their life, helping others have a better day. This can not only get you outside of your own misery, but also give you pleasure in and of itself. 

Going Forward

Life will surely throw you curves. And, unless mindless, you will at times experience emotional pain. How you respond to this pain will go a long way toward determining your overall happiness in life. You really only have two choices when emotionally upset: one is to whine and catastrophize about how bad you feel, thereby compounding your misery; a second is to gracefully lump your pain while working to reduce it through constructive cognitive and behavioral strategies. The second of these choices is the substance of this blog.

I hope this blog has been useful to you in your quest for happiness. I believe in you and your right to be happy. But, remember, you’ve got to work at it. So, dear reader, determine to live each day of 2015 healthy, happy, and with passion.

Russell Grieger, Ph.D. is the author of several self-help books, all designed to empower people to create a life they love to live. These include: Unrelenting Drive; Marriage On Purpose; and The Happiness Handbook (in preparation). You may contact Dr. Grieger for more information at grieger@cstone.net.

Nancy* is always taking care of other people. She loves to cook and serve a delicious meal to friends and family, but no matter how many times they ask her to join them at the table, she just can’t sit with them. “I eat while I’m cooking,” she says, “and I want to be nice to myself, too. If I sit down I’ll eat more, and I’ll be unhappy with myself.” But the truth is that Nancy is never really happy with herself. She is always striving to be thinner, prettier, more successful, nicer, sweeter, more loved and more loving. Whatever she does isn’t good enough for her.

Harry* works hard at a demanding, high power job. He is very generous – he’ll buy anything for his wife and children. But they would like for him to spend more time at home. Harry loves his family, but he feels that he deserves some time for himself. He used to play golf on the weekends, but he doesn’t have time anymore; so after work he’ll meet a buddy and have some drinks. What’s wrong with that? He’s just taking care of himself, right?

Anne Marie* has had a hard year. She is going through a nasty divorce. After another horrible conversation with her almost ex-husband, she needs something to soothe herself. She sits down at the computer with a cup of tea and a bag of cookies and starts surfing her favorite shopping sites. She says this is giving herself some tlc. But two hours later she is uncomfortably stuffed with cookies and has spent more money than she can afford.   

Sam* has been on a cleansing diet for several weeks. He tells everyone that he feels wonderful – “lighter, more energetic, calmer.” What he doesn’t tell them is that he also feels lightheaded and nauseous and that his heart seems to be racing all the time. Sam has always struggled with his weight. This is finally a step in the right direction – he has always said that once he lost that extra weight he would feel so much happier.

Do any of these stories sound familiar? If so, it may be because you and/or someone you care about are struggling with a problem that’s extremely common these days:

Some of the things you do to make yourself feel better actually end up making you feel worse.

Why is this? And what can you do to change this all too familiar story?

We live in a world that admires hard work. We therefore admire self-control, even when it blurs into painful restriction. Nancy, for example, does not like the way she looks and often feels fat even though she actually keeps herself painfully thin. She feels that she is taking care of herself by sticking to a rigid diet and excessive exercise plan. Extremely critical of herself for almost everything she does, she feels secretly proud when she can feed a delicious meal to everyone else without succumbing to the temptation to eat it herself.

This pride at what she sees as an accomplishment is also her downfall. The one thing that Nancy feels good about, the one thing that makes her feel successful and in control, is destroying her physical and mental health. Nancy is anorexic. She is in danger of starving to death. And still she cannot stop dieting and exercising.

Harry is also extremely hardworking.  He goes drinking with his buddies because it helps him to relax. He says it doesn’t hurt anyone. But that’s not actually true. Harry’s wife worries about his drinking. He has gotten into several car accidents driving home after a night with his buddies. He says it doesn’t affect his work, but she is not so sure. She thinks Harry might have just gotten passed over for a promotion because the after effects of the drinking are slowing down his thinking.  She loves him and doesn’t want him to destroy their life together; but she doesn’t know how to help him make a change.

Too much of a good thing – whether it’s something we generally think of as healthy, like a diet or exercise, or it’s something we think of as potentially unhealthy, like too much alcohol or fried food or chocolate – can backfire on us. And it’s the backfiring of the very thing that we started doing to make ourselves feel better that can end up making us feel worse.

When I was giving talks about my book on daydreams, I wanted to show how to use daydreams to unlock your creativity; but I was frequently asked if it is possible to daydream too much. The answer I gave was the same as the one I’m giving you now: if we do too much of something that’s good for us, it can become bad for us.

Here’s just one more example: some years ago I hurt my back rather badly. The only time it felt better was during yoga, so I started taking more and more yoga classes. After class I felt better for an hour or two, but then the pain returned, sometimes worse than before. Even with physical therapy and medication I was having troubles sitting, standing, walking and lying down. Finally, one very smart yoga teacher counseled me to take a week or two off. She suggested I do some very gentle stretching several times a day, but no strenuous exercise. She was right. In my effort to work through the problem, I was, it turned out, continuously re-injuring myself. During my break from yoga the inflammation and the pain gradually diminished. When I went back to my practice, I quickly learned that I did much better with basic classes. I also learned to pay attention to my back’s reaction. Less exercise, it turned out, was significantly better for my health.

I want to be clear, however, that I am not saying that you should never indulge. We all have to give into temptation from time to time. Even overdoing it is okay –  what’s really important is to recognize that, no matter how much you might feel you deserve that indulgence (or over-indulgence, even), it may not do what you are hoping it will do for you.

But then, if it does backfire, if you do feel worse instead of better after your personal binge of whatever sort, don’t make matters worse by beating up on yourself or swearing you’ll never do it again or going excessively in the other direction. Restricting yourself from all good food might feel better for a moment, but it won’t work as a permanent solution.

Try this instead: Resolve to be more moderate for a while. Just take it a step at a time and see how it goes. You might just find yourself feeling a lot better!

Visit me at my website: dianebarth.net

Follow me on twitter: @fdbarthlcsw 

copyright@fdianebarth2014

*names and identifying information have been changed to protect privacy

Teaser Image Source: iStock_000025412524

1. The small things are what’s important. And really, they aren’t all that small.

2. All in good time really means all in good time.
 
3. You can fearlessly be yourself. Those who love you will love you. Ignore the rest.
 
4. The world needs us to live what we love. Be the light. And shine it.
 
5. If you think you can do it, you can do it. Back yourself.
 
6. You can live on your own terms without compromising anyone else’s.
 
7. When you truly learn how to say no, the right things become a yes.
 
8. We are all creative. To the core. Remember what you used to love, then do it.
 
9. You should start before you’re ready. And keep going long after you want to stop.
 
10. You don’t have to clear all of your space. Just clear the space that matters.
 
11. Get on with it. Really, go on.
 
12. Do what makes your soul happy. 

13. Trust the universe. It’s got your back.
 
14. You can create great change, gently.

15. You know more than you think you do. And you’re braver than you think you are.

16. The divine feminine is sacred. So is the divine masculine. Balance brings harmony.
 
17. Grace and ease is the most kickass path there is.
 
18. Time is precious and life is short. But really, it’s all about energy.
 
19. What you do makes a difference. Act like it.
 
20. It’s safe to own your brilliance.
 
21. Stop comparing. There is no equal to you (and anyway, everyone has their shit to deal with).
 
22. Follow your instincts. Trust them like your life depends on it. It does.
 
23. Savour the magic, and there will be more of it.

24. Deconstruct your envy. It has lessons to teach you.

25. Honour your muse. If you don’t respect her, she will stop showing up.
 
26. When you work you’re zone of genius, you will be of the greatest service.
 
27. You must look after yourself. No exceptions. No excuses.
 
28. Sad things happen. To really good people. And you can’t always explain it.

29. You deserve every success, however you define it. Don’t settle for less than your true hearts desire.
 
30. Be grateful for every moment you have. Every single one.

For more inspiration, read further works by Megan Dalla-Camina, Rise and Shine and Getting Real About Having It All.

Most people do not keep their New Year’s resolutions. More than 90% of us fail to accomplish the things that we so passionately resolved to do, only a year before. The reasons vary, but more than often it’s not about willpower, determination, or motivation. We simply focus on the wrong goals.

When we set goals, many of us imagine the day when we would accomplish them. We think of graduation day, our wedding day, the day when we hit our target weight, or the day we would embark on a trip. The mistake in this process is small but dramatic. To pick the goals that are best for us, we need to first envision the day after.

On the day that you accomplish something great, the excitement is intense. You are on the top of the world, thrilled and exhilarated. It is a wonderful feeling, but it does not last. You adapt to it and it wears off. The next day is different. You are no longer experience the ecstasy of accomplishment, and you can truly assess your feelings about what happened: Are you still happy? How will your life be different now? Are you scared? Do you have regrets? Are you eager to get going?

The day after is the day that most books and films never portray. It’s a routine day where you wake up to a new reality, and start to experience a new chapter. If your goals are inherently meaningful to you, you will be thrilled to imagine the day after, but for goals that you are not truly and intrinsically motivated to pursue [1], you may find that your vision of that day is not as fun.

During this time of the year, many of us resolve to introduce changes in our lives. This year, when you set your new goals, don’t think about your wedding day, graduation day, or the day you hit your target weight. Instead, think of the lifelong experience as a married person, the life that waits for you as a professional, or your second morning as your new, thinner self. If this vision is meaningful to you, then pursue these goals with all of your might. If not, it may be necessary to tweak or to reconsider.

What goals are you contemplating? What does your “day after” look like?

Do share.

[1] Ryan, R. M., & Deci, E. L. (2000). Self-determination theory and the facilitation of intrinsic motivation, social development, and well-being. American psychologist, 55(1), 68.

Why do people have such a hard time saying no? Do you?

Have you ever met a person who had difficulty saying no - to friends, to significant others, to bosses? Or worse, have you seen parents who have trouble saying “no” to their kids? If you’re a therapist or otherwise work with families, you may suspect that parents who fail to say “no” represent a disproportionate percentage of those in family counseling. Saying “no” is vital to raising well-adjusted kids, but for some parents, it seems impossible.

Parents acquiesce to their kids. It appears as if the parents feel “forced” to comply with demanding kids. But then won’t those kids grow up to become demanding adults? And how will parents change the rules when those kids are adults? Will parents be held hostage to demands with no end? Will parents resort to cutting off communication entirely because they were unable to say, “No!”?

How can someone believe that their child, or even adult child, “makes” them do something, like give money they don’t really want to give, because the child would have thrown a tantrum if they had said no?

The parents who struggle to say no to their kids have kids who struggle later on. Jack comes to mind. He is a graduate of a prestigious design program, but he doesn’t have a job. It’s been over a year since graduation, and he is dragging his feet about finding a professional job. He works in a restaurant, the same job he had during school, but he cannot afford his apartment without his parents help. So month after month, they send him money. And month after month, they threaten to cut off the funds. They tell him he needs to update his resume and send it out so he can find himself a proper job. Jack is a kind-hearted young man; he probably feels guilty for requiring assistance. But finding a job is overwhelming and keeping to the status quo with his parents is easy.

Jack’s parents say, “Well, what choice do we have? He doesn’t have a job!” They feel trapped, unable to change things.

Maybe people like Jack’s parents equate saying no with blurting out every frustration or resentment they have ever had against their loved one. Maybe they haven’t learned to say, “I love you too much to agree to something that could mess up our relationship, or your future.”

As parents, I think we should all rehearse that line. “I love you too much to agree to something that could mess up our relationship.” Or “I love you too much to be a crutch and allow you to avoid facing your problems.” Or “I love you too much to interfere with normal life lessons.” Or “I love you too much to pretend this is okay.”

Because in the end, we do love them too much to be part of their problems, right? And isn’t loving them, and demonstrating it through action, our job description as a mom or dad?

Circadian rhythms are patterns of biological activity that occur on a regular schedule throughout the course of the day. The term circadian means “about a day”. These rhythms are extremely important for survival as they allow humans, plants and animals to, in effect, anticipate regular changes in the environment and biologically prepare for them. Although circadian patterns had been noted earlier, circadian rhythms were first demonstrated experimentally in plants in the 1700s. It was many years, however, before the underlying mechanisms of circadian processes were discovered.

The reason that these rhythms exist is because we live on a planet that has regular periods of light and dark. Being able to anticipate and automatically prepare for these periods can greatly improve the chances of survival of an organism. For example, nocturnal animals such as mice are quite vulnerable to predation when looking for food in the open during the brightly lit portion of the day. They have a much better chance of avoiding detection by predators when active in the dark of night. A system that allows a mouse to sleep during the day and become active as light levels fall has obvious advantages. In the same way, Paleolithic humans were quite vulnerable during the night when color vision isn’t effective and it was very dangerous to be out and about. Sleeping after dark and being alert during the brightly lit portion of the day worked to our ancestors’ advantage. The hormone melatonin is important in the regulation of the circadian rhythm and signals the shift to either increased or decreased activity. As the “hormone of darkness”, the release of melatonin signals to the mouse that it is dark out and time to start looking for food, but in a human the same hormone indicates that it is dark out and time to prepare for sleep.

In humans the master clock that orchestrates the body’s 24-hour rhythm has been found to reside in the suprachiasmatic nuclei (SCN) that are located just above the optic chiasm. These two small bundles of cell bodies fire more frequently during the day than during the night. They also fire more during REM sleep and when people are awake than during deep sleep. The primary effect of the circadian clock is to promote wakefulness during the day and to support sleep consolidation during the night. A major input to the SCN nuclei is light intensity information from the retina. These nuclei affect the pineal gland that is responsible for releasing melatonin, which signals darkness and the onset of drowsiness that leads to sleep. Melatonin levels are highest during the night and are suppressed during the day by bright light.

The cells in the SCN itself carry out the clock function through a complex self-regulated, genetically controlled, cyclic oscillating synthesis of proteins. This protein synthesis oscillates through positive and negative feedback loops so that levels of certain proteins rise in the morning, peak in the evening and then decrease at night. Because of this process, the clock can function indefinitely without outside synchronization. If you live in a cave underground with steady light illumination throughout the day and night and have no artificial clocks to tell you what time it is, you will still wake during the (circadian) day and sleep during the (circadian) night.

But this day and night pattern will slowly shift over time. Research has shown that the human circadian rhythm is not exactly 24 hours in length. For most individuals it is slightly more than 24 hours but can also be slightly less than 24 hours. Thus over time, the cave dweller will most likely slowly advance the sleep schedule and go to bed slightly later and get up slightly later each 24 hour period. In regular day-to-day life the circadian rhythm is entrained or reset to external clock time by light, exercise, social activities and so on. These are known as zeitgebers (time-giver in German) and are able to reset the clock so that it continually matches external social time relatively well. This lack of rigidity is helpful in coping with the changes in light duration that occurs with the changes in seasons.

When there is a lack of environmental cues to entrain the circadian rhythm, people and animals become “free-running”, which is the term used in chronobiology to designate the intrinsic circadian rhythm in the absence of external synchronization. When this condition occurs in humans outside of experimental conditions, it causes a circadian rhythm disorder known as the non-24 hour sleep-wake rhythm disorder (N24SWD).

In my practice this is a relatively rare disorder to encounter as it primarily occurs in totally blind individuals. It can occur in other situations but is extremely rare unless there is total blindness that results in complete loss of ability to perceive light. It is estimated that over 50% of totally blind people have N24SWD and 50% to 80% of individuals with blindness report some sleep disturbance.

This condition results in both difficulty getting to sleep at night and difficulty staying awake during the day. There can be periods of increased difficulty with sleep and wakefulness as the free running circadian rhythm shifts over time. There are also periods of apparent remission as the free running circadian rhythm temporarily aligns with social clock time. This can make it very difficult for the individual to keep up with regular daily activities and engage in normal social interactions.

From a behavioral sleep medicine perspective, there are a number of strategies that have been employed to help patients with this disorder. Since the most powerful zeitgeber, light, is not an option for totally blind individuals, melatonin, the hormone of darkness, is used to help entrain the circadian rhythm. This is accomplished by regular administration of melatonin in the evening or at bedtime. Further entrainment may be accomplished through carefully scheduling of a very regular bedtime, rise time, mealtime and activity schedule. Until recently few pharmacological options existed for this disorder. Sleeping medication, as in other circadian rhythm disorders, has been used but is of limited benefit. A new melatonin agonist, tasimelteon, may offer some benefit over and above natural melatonin due to how it differentially affects the melatonin receptors.

While N24SWD is a dramatic and potentially debilitating circadian rhythm disorder, it does demonstrate both the power and importance of these rhythms for effective living. We live in an industrial civilization that is subtly and not so subtly alerting the rhythm of our daily lives with artificial lighting and work schedules in ways that we are only beginning to understand. Circadian rhythms help our bodies prepare for regular changes in the environment such as the dark of night and the light of day. These rhythms are ubiquitous in nature and are found in both plants and animals. When cut off from cues to external time, as when a person is totally blind, these rhythms become desynchronized and can cause significant difficulty for living in society. All circadian rhythm disorders, including the free running type, cause problems with both sleep and wakefulness and result in insomnia and excessive daytime drowsiness. N24SWD is a very difficult problem to treat and recognition that it exists is the first step toward coping more effectively with it.

American Academy of Sleep Medicine (2014). International Classification of Sleep Disorders 3rd Edition. Darien, IL: American Academy of Sleep Medicine

Lee-Chiong, Jr., T. (2008). Sleep Medicine Essentials and Review. New York: Oxford University Press.

As you prepare to begin the first day of another round of 365, I wish you the courage, strength, motivation and inspiration to reach your goals in the new year. Here are some inspirational quotes to help you get in the spirit to welcome 2015!

Inspirational Quotes to Motivate For the New Year

1. "Cheers to a new year and another chance for us to get it right." - Oprah Winfrey

2. "Although no one can go back and make a brand new start, anyone can start from now and make a brand new ending" - Carl Brad

3."You are never too old to set another goal or to dream a new dream." - Aristotle

4. "There are far, far better things ahead than any we leave behind." - C.S. Lewis

5. "A dream written down with a date becomes a goal. A goal broken down into steps becomes a plan. A plan backed by action makes your dreams come true." - Greg S. Reid

6. "There comes a day when you realize turning the page is the best feeling in the world, because you realize there is so much more to the book than the page you were stuck on." - Zayn Malik

7. "In order to lead a fascinating life, one brimming with art, music, intrigue, and romance, you must surround yourself with precisely those things." - Kate Spade

8. “May your coming year be filled with magic and dreams and good madness. I hope you read some fine books and kiss someone who thinks you're wonderful, and don't forget to make some art -- write or draw or build or sing or live as only you can. And I hope, somewhere in the next year, you surprise yourself.” - Neil Gaiman

9. "This year believe that anything is possible. Start each day with goals. Eat more real food. Buy good books and make time to read them. Drink water. Exercise daily even when it sounds like a terrible idea. Shop for quality not quantity. Purge the unnecessary and decrease clutter. Hug the ones I love. Find the best in others. Show others the best in me." -Unknown

10. An optimist stays up until midnight to see the New Year in. A pessimist stays up to make sure the old year leaves. - Bill Vaughn

11. "The journey of a thousand miles begins with one step." -Lao Tzu

12. "If you can't fly then run, if you can't run then walk, if you can't walk then crawl, but whatever you do you have to keep moving forward.” - Martin Luther King, Jr.

13. "Once a year, go someplace you've never been before." - Dalai Lama

14. "I walk slowly but I never walk backward." - Abraham Lincoln.

15. "Good resolutions are simply checks that men draw on a bank where they have no account." - Oscar Wilde

Happy New Year!

Have an inspirational quote that you love? Please share it in the comments section.

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Copyright © Finding Cloud9, Dr. Jamie Long

We supposedly know how full of misinformation the internet can be. But is it time to turn a jaundiced eye away from Dr. Oz? Are we being snookered in HD?

We should be skeptical, according to a Canadian study published this month in the “British Medical Journal.” In fact, the investigators found that specific details on the magnitude of benefit or harm and the cost and inconvenience of following recommendations were insufficient, and evidence supporting them was contradictory or absent. For a patient, the next step is not so clear.

The study investigators randomly recorded 40 episodes each of the fairly popular medical programs The Dr. Oz Show and The Doctors from early January 2013 to early May 201, and assessed all health care recommendations made on both shows. To critically assess the content of these shows, experienced evidence reviewers independently searched and then, as a team, evaluated the evidence for 80 pieces of advice, randomly selected from what they considered stronger recommendations.

The combination of dietary and weight-loss advice represented 43.2% of the topics discussed on Dr. Oz and 16.8% of those on The Doctors. Reflecting the seemingly universal desire to lose weight without really trying, on both shows, exercise definitely played a secondary role to diet, with dietary advice accounting for 39% of recommendations vs 5% for exercise on Dr. Oz and 10% versus 5% on The Doctors.

Overall, the study found that 87 of the 160 recommendations assessed had some level of published evidence to support them. “Believable” or “somewhat believable” evidence supported 33% of recommendations from The Dr. Oz Show, and 53% on The Doctors.

On the other hand, believable or somewhat believable evidence was found against 11% (Oz) and 13% (Doctors) of the recommendations considered by the investigators. Just as disturbing, for slightly more than 1 in 3 (Oz) and 1 in 4 (Doctors) recommendations, no evidence could be found. "Approximately half of the recommendations have either no evidence or are contradicted by the best available evidence," the authors report.

So, viewer beware. Watching television for entertainment is one thing. Taking advice from that medium is something you might want to think twice about.

Las Vegas celebrates its gangster reputation each year by acknowledging its past and designating January as Mob Month.

I will be returning to Nevada from California (I no longer live in the desert) for Mob Month 2015 to speak at the main public library on a panel of crime writers and former law enforcement folks debating “Is The Mob Still In Las Vegas?”

The last mob-related murder in Las Vegas went down in 1997 with the gangland murder of Herbert “Fat Herbie” Blitzstein.

Back in 1950, U.S. Senator Estes Kefauver headed a committee investigating organized crime. The seventh in a series of nationwide hearings was held in the federal courthouse in Vegas, in what is now a historic building – and a Mob Museum – that once served as both a courthouse and U.S. Post Office.

It is the same courtroom where, in 1986, Blitzstein and “Tony the Ant“ Spilotro were tried together until it was declared a mistrial because of jury tampering. Before the second trial could begin, Spilotro was buried alive and left to die in a Pennsylvania cornfield. Blitzstein, Spilotro’s right-hand man in Vegas, pleaded guilty, went to prison for a few years, then returned to Vegas in the early 1990s, picking up where he’d left off. In January 1997, Blitzstein was murdered, shot once in the back of the head in a contract hit and attempt to take over his racketeering business.

I was at the crime scene after Blitzstein’s body was discovered and law enforcement began their investigation into his killing. His killers were caught and brought to trial.

So, it came as a surprise in 1999 when mob attorney turned Mayor Oscar Goodman, a former criminal defense attorney and self-described “mouthpiece for the mob” who spent 35 years defending the nation’s most notorious underworld figures, denied the mob’s existence in Las Vegas. Besides Spilotro, Goodman’s clients included mobsters Meyer Lansky and Frank "Lefty" Rosenthal. 

Goodman’s denial occurred in ’99 during his first mayoral run, when he issued a statement in the midst of the colorful Las Vegas trial of the two reputed Mafiosi charged in connection with the execution-style hit of Blitzstein, who ran rackets in Las Vegas.

Goodman wasn’t the only one putting a spin on the mob’s Vegas existence. The first denial of the mob began in the early 1990s as part of a public relations move touting Vegas as a family friendly destination when the Nevada Gaming Commission released the first of several statements assuring the public that the FBI had forced the last of the mob out of Vegas in the 1980s. That wasn’t true, of course. Goodman himself had represented Anthony Spilotro in a mob trial in the mid-‘80s, shortly before Spilotro was killed.

After prison, the 62-year-old Blitzstein set up a downtown auto-repair shop, from where he ran loan shark and insurance-fraud racketeering operations. Federal prosecutors contended during the trial that mob families in Los Angeles and Buffalo, N.Y., had ordered Blitzstein’s hit so they could take control of his rackets.

Then, in May 1999, Goodman issued his press release declaring the streets of the city long free of traditional organized crime. "For the last 15 years," Goodman said in the release, "there hasn't been a mob presence here."

Goodman had issued that statement from his law office, which was around the corner from the U.S. District courthouse where, at the time, the Herbert Blitzstein murder-related trial was well underway with media heavily covering it.

The 1999 trial surrounding Blitzstein’s murder, which ended with most of the defendants pleading out to lesser crimes, was the last Mafia-related trial in Las Vegas. Fat Herbie's death also marked the last mob hit in Sin City.

But is the mob no longer in Vegas? The answer depends on who you ask. A couple of businesses are reportedly mobbed up. But the jury is still out.

In 1900 the Bengali biophysicist and botanist Jagdish Chandra Bose taught that plants are not merely passive organisms lacking sense. Instead, they explore their environments and can learn and change their behavior with purpose. Plants have an electrical nervous system, he claimed, that allows them to transmit information among their roots, stems, leaves, and other parts.

In the last couple of decades botany has begun to catch up with Bose’s ideas, leading scientists to some amazing questions: Are plants conscious? Do they have knowledge? Can they feel pain?

In 1992 researchers discovered that tomato plants will produce certain proteins throughout their bodies when they’re wounded. The speed of the response precludes the possibility of chemical signals; the plants are producing electrical signals to direct change to occur more quickly within more distant parts of the plant.

Slow yet Smart

We tend to look at plants as dumb and nearly inert. They’re anchored in place and seem to bend passively with the breeze and grow gradually to capture sunlight. With rare exceptions such as the Venus flytrap, they move only very slowly, such as when a vine seeks an object to attach to. With time-lapse photography, scientists have begun to capture plant movements that seem sensible and intelligent. Under time-lapse, the seedling of a Cuscuta (dodder) vine seems to search for a host by sniffing the air. It then lunges toward its new host when it finds one, resembling snake movements.

When plants seem to be behaving like animals, we must reconsider whether intelligence truly is an exclusively animal trait.

Scientists are indeed questioning whether this distinction is as clear-cut as modern science has previously assumed. In 2005 researchers founded the Society for Plant Neurobiology to advance in this debate. A founder of the organization, the Italian scientist Stefano Mancuso, argues that we should stop assuming that a brain is needed for intelligence. Even without neurons and a brain, plants can acquire, process, and integrate information to shape their behavior in a way that could be called intelligent.

Locating Intelligence

As reported in a recent article in the magazine New Scientist,2 the apparent magic of consciousness in plants seems to depend on several physiological features, particularly those of their root systems. Plant roots include various “zones,” including a “transition zone,” which is electrically active and seems analogous to the animal brain—it contains a mechanism similar to neurotransmitters. Another part of the root, the root cap, can sense various physical properties “such as gravity, humidity, light, oxygen, and nutrients.”3 Most cells in plants can make and transmit neuron-like activity. In roots every cell can do so.

Mancuso says, “If we need to find an integrative processing part of the plant, we need to look at the roots.”4

Plants also produce serotonin, GABA, and melatonin, which act as hormones and neurotransmitters in animal brains, though it’s not yet known what they do in plants. Intriguingly, drugs such as Prozac, Ritalin, and methamphetamines can disrupt these “neurotransmitters” in plants.

Vital Capacities

Plants sense light, but they also communicate with one another using chemicals. They “know” when they’re being touched. They integrate all of this information without the kind of neural system that animals have.

And they have memory—the ability to store and recall an event at a later time. A Venus flytrap, for instance, doesn’t chomp down when it receives its first sensation of a fly; it only closes if the hairs in its trap sense another contact within a half minute or so. It “remembers” the first touch.

More surprising is the result of an experiment that Mancuso carried out with Mimosa pudica, the “touch-me-not” plant. He and colleagues dropped potted mimosas repeatedly onto foam from 15 centimeters (about 6 inches) above. The plants closed their leaves in response to the fall initially, but stopped doing so after four to six drops. It seems that they “learned” that there was no danger. It’s not that they were no longer able to close their leaves—they still would do so in response to touch. They retained this ability to discriminate between the harmless fall and the potentially harmful (about to be eaten) touch after a month.

Consciousness?

Frantisek Baluska at the University of Bonn, Germany, has pushed further into the question of consciousness by suggesting that plants may even experience pain. They release the chemical ethylene when stressed—when being eaten, attacked, or cut. Nearby plants can sense the ethylene. One researcher equated this release of ethylene with a scream. Since plants also produce the chemical in large quantities when their fruit are ready to be eaten, there’s conjecture that they’re using ethylene as an anesthetic (animals can also be knocked out with ethylene, an anesthetic).

Psychologists and philosophers will likely debate the precise definition of intelligence until the end of time. It may in truth blend into the whole continuum of biological capacities—faculties of various kinds, particularly sensation and memory, that seem to exist throughout the animal world. But as we realize that plants have significant abilities in sensation, awareness, integration of information, long-term memory, and adaptive learning, we must at least leave open the possibility that intelligence is certainly not unique to humans and probably not even to animals.

What It Means for Us

Admitting the possibility that plants may be intelligent—and perhaps conscious—not only begs many questions about our instrumental (what’s in it for me?) relationship with the rest of nature. It also gives us fodder to rethink the human place in the natural world. I wrote previously that it’s long overdue for us to stop thinking of humans as the only conscious animals. If powerful capabilities long thought unique to humans exist not only in other animals but in plants as well, we must truly begin to see greater continuity between ourselves and the rest of nature.

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1. Anil Anathaswamy, “Roots of Consciousness,” New Scientist, 6 December 2014, pp. 34–37.

2. Anil Anathaswamy, “Roots of Consciousness,” New Scientist, 6 December 2014, pp. 34–37.

3. Anil Anathaswamy, “Roots of Consciousness,” New Scientist, 6 December 2014, p. 36.

4. Anil Anathaswamy, “Roots of Consciousness,” New Scientist, 6 December 2014, p. 36.