The last time I discussed some aspects of the dark side of personality, in general. Today, I’d like to focus on the substance of the recent Wall Street Journal article that discussed my work: how can the dark side help people get ahead at work? I’m going to focus on narcissism in this post, and I plan to focus on other dark side personality traits, such as Machiavellianism, psychopathy, schizotypal personality, or paranoid personality in later posts.

            Recall that when talking about the dark side of personality, I mean explicitly sub-clinical levels of these personality characteristics. That is, when discussing narcissists on this blog, I am definitely not talking about individuals with potentially diagnosable Narcissistic Personality Disorder. I am instead talking about individuals with a level of narcissism that is not typically dysfunctional, but could cause the individual some problems, especially when the individual is in a difficult situation or under considerable stress.

            To understand how narcissism can help people to get ahead at work, we need to be clear about what narcissism is. The narcissist typically feels entitled—he or she deserves better outcomes than other people. The narcissist is also typically has strong beliefs in his or her own superiority—the narcissist really believes that he or she is better, more capable, more skilled, more charming, and just more than other people. They are also grandiose­, and are therefore likely to engage in big, symbolic gestures. Narcissists are also dominant—they like to be in control of social situations and other people.

            Some of these characteristics can help directly lead to advancement. For instance, a degree of dominance is generally necessary for advancing into leadership roles. In order to get power, you usually need to first like power and want it for yourself. A narcissist’s characteristic dominance makes liking and wanting power very natural. Additionally, narcissists are often described (along with individuals high on the other Dark Triad traits of psychopathy and Machiavellianism) as superficially charming, partially because they have strong tendencies to self-enhance. That is, narcissists often come across to other people quite positively in short-term or otherwise limited interactions. One of the main ways of assigning people to jobs, the job interview, is just such a short-term interaction. And, unsurprisingly, narcissists are very good at doing the kinds of things that make interviews see them as employable. These kinds of self-enhancing, dramatic, and attention-grabbing behaviors by leaders can be perceived by followers as the positive characteristics of charisma and self-confidence, as noted by Babiak and Hare (although those authors are explicitly describing psychopaths at work, the behaviors are generally also characteristic of narcissists).

            Beyond all of this, we suspect that narcissism may have important motivational characteristics. For instance, in our empirical study of military cadets, we were surprised to find narcissism positively related to indices of leader development. My coauthor Peter Harms suggest the example of Napoleon to help understand what might be going on here. Napoleon wasn’t known for being a particularly good student, but he probably had some strong narcissistic tendencies. When he decided to be the greatest military leader, he became a voracious reader of works of military history and tactics. It’s not particularly surprising that narcissists, with their unbridled sense of their own superiority, would be strongly motivated to be the best at what they do.

            So, in total, narcissists have some advantages when it comes to getting ahead. They are motivated to seek positions of power and influence, because those positions are consistent with their views of themselves as special and important. Furthermore, their behavior can produce very positive impressions on others, who then perceive them as bold and charismatic leaders. Of course, narcissism isn’t called a “dark side” trait for nothing. In long-term interactions, other people often come to view the narcissist as hostile and arrogant. Excessively narcissistic behavior is likely to contribute to derailing a successful career. In a future post, I plan to detail the downsides of narcissism in more detail, and try to help my readers steer an effective path between reasonable self-confidence and self-enhancement and dangerous levels of self-focus.

I expect we all agree that the presidency is not a job for a shrinking violet. We acknowledge that a president without self-confidence would be a disaster in the making. But just how confident do we want our president to be? Is the kind of extroversion that helps people succeed in modern political campaigns also helpful in making our presidents better leaders once elected?

An interesting study published in Psychological Science suggests the benefits of narcissism outweigh the harms. The study rated all U.S. presidents (through George W. Bush) on a narcissism scale, and then tested whether their level of narcissism was correlated with objective measures of their success as presidents. Researchers broke narcissism into two subdomains: (1) grandiose narcissism—characterized by flamboyance and interpersonal dominance and (2) vulnerable narcissism—characterized by emotional fragility and social withdrawal.

Here is a picture of how presidents stack up on these traits:

As you can see, grandiose and vulnerable narcissism are not mutually exclusive. LBJ and Nixon, for example, rated highly on both measures.

As for presidential performance, vulnerable narcissism isn’t associated with much of anything. But grandiosity? It is associated with the ability to communicate, the ability to push a political agenda through Congress, and measures of overall leadership ability.

But there is a downside. Grandiose presidents were more likely to take big risks and even more likely to be put through impeachment proceedings. (Think Clinton and the blue dress.)

In today’s political climate, narcissism is practically a prerequisite of a successful presidential candidacy. Indeed, the researchers found that presidential narcissism is increasing over time. Perhaps our best hope is to do what we can to elect grandiose narcissists as presidents, and then surround them with people strong enough to prevent them from taking unnecessary risks.

Easier said than done!

***Previously Posted in Forbes***

The continuity hypothesis of dreams suggests that the content of dreams are largely continuous with waking concepts and concerns of the dreamer. In my previous posts on the continuity hypothesis I have been a bit unfair presenting only a case against the hypothesis and not laying out the facts and arguments that support the hypothesis. So I want to begin to redress that imbalance the best I can in the present post.

Calvin Hall was the first dream researcher to argue that some contents of dreams reflected the daily concerns and ideas of the dreamers rather than the hidden libidinal wishes or compensatory emotional strategies that psychodynamic theorists like Freud and Jung advocated. Through creation of standardized dream content scoring inventories (building on the work of Mary Calkins and others), Hall demonstrated that the most frequently appearing content items of dreams were not bizarre images at all but rather mundane social interactions between the dreamer and people he or she interacted with on a daily basis. One did not need to invoke theories concerning elaborate dreamwork to disguise latent libidinal and aggressive wishes buried in the dream.

Instead simple counts of characters, interactions, objects, actions and events in the dreams could yield a pretty accurate picture of what the dream was about and it wasn’t dramatically different than the daily life of the dreamer. Many dream researchers since Calvin have confirmed that the bread and butter of dreams are the quotidian daily social interactions and concerns most people experience on a daily basis. Domhoff’s (2003) impressive content analyses of a longitudinal dream series collected from a middle aged woman dubbed “Barb Sanders” very convincingly shows that her pattern of aggressive and friendly interactions with key characters in her dreams matched the ups and downs of those same relationships between her and them in waking life.

Thus the empirical support for some degree of continuity between dream content and waking life is strong. The database supporting the theory has been considerably strengthened by many dream researchers over the years since Hall’s pioneering efforts back in the 1950s-1970s. It is therefore clear that any complete theory of dreams must accommodate the data demonstrating substantial continuities between dream content and waking concepts and concerns.

But as every supporter of continuity theory acknowledges there are also dreams that contain some significant discontinuities between dream content and waking concepts/concerns. For example, most people have had dreams that are like long adventure stories or movies. These “narrative-driven” dreams are less quotidian than everyday dreams. They contain more bizarre elements and imagery and have the dreamer engaged in actions and events that are decidedly not like their ordinary ideas, actions and concerns. In addition, there is a significant minority of dream reports that have few or no familiar characters, settings, or activities. Can these sorts of dreams be explained with continuity theory approaches? If attempts are made to do so how can one avoid special pleading, circular reasoning or ad hoc additions to the theory?

What's needed is a theory that accommodates both continuities and discontinuities, but I don't see one of the horizon. In the meantime, one proponent of the continuity hypothesis suggests that building toward such a theory should start with the assumption of continuity, followed by a search for discontinuities that might be of varying types, such as narrative/adventure dreams, unusual elements that reveal figurative thought, and incongruous elements that may reveal that there are cognitive defects of various sorts in dreams (Domhoff, 2007).

Domhoff, G. W. (2003). The scientific study of dreams: Neural networks, cognitive development, and content analysis. Washington, DC: American Psychological Association.

Domhoff, G. W. (2007). Realistic simulation and bizarreness in dream content: Past findings and suggestions for future research. In D. Barrett & P. McNamara (Eds.), The new science of dreaming: Content, recall, and personality cor¬relates (Vol. 2, pp. 1-27). Westport, CT: Praeger.

Recently I attended a course on Positive Psychotherapy at Harvard Medical School and a lecturer discussed lightheartedness as healing phenomenon. It seemed almost paradoxical that a psychiatrist would suggest this method, as our traditional approach is to move through dark states of mind. Grappling with memories and fears facilitates a freer state of being or so the thinking goes. The poet Robert Frost wrote, “The best way out is always through.”

But as it turns out, detachment may be more effective than immersion when it comes to managing angst. “Lightheartedness” may be a wiser path to enlightenment, peace and mental balance.

What is lightheartedness? Lightheartedness in the dictionary and lightheartedness in Eastern Philosophy are defined differently. Buddhist thought purports that cares co-exist with cheer. The dictionary suggests that lightheartedness involves the absence of cares.

Lightheartedness in Wiktionary: the property of being lighthearted, joyous, cheerful, without a care.

 Lightheartedness in Buddhism: “Light-heartedness is a state of mind and being that combines the elements of serious mindedness and deep caring with a sense of lightness and fun. It avoids the extremes of either being over serious and heavy in our approach or resorting to purely superficial/hedonistic fun as an “escape” from the pressures of our life.” This is a quote from Tony Ouvry, meditation expert. light-heartedness-as-your-object-of-meditation\

So how can you cultivate “lightheartedness?” It may seem impossible if you are weighed down with worry, but it is not. Research shows that meditation practice, and the key word is practice, is a powerful treatment for cultivating lightheartedness as well as reducing anxiety. When a coping technique is a learned habit, when it is built into our being, we can rely on it to carry us through difficult periods. It is there to fall back on when stressors strike.

Here is one form of meditation that can lead to lightheartedness. It called The Relaxation Response, has four main components and was developed by Harvard cardiologist, Dr. Herbert Benson. relaxationresponse.org/

1. Sit in a comfortable position

2. Repeat a comforting phrase, prayer, poem, song or rhyme

3. Breathe in a concentrated way

4. Maintain a passive attitude.

Heart rates, blood pressure, stress and anxiety decrease with this method. Benson found that removing actual stressors was not crucial (and often not possible) but altering one’s approach to them was. To achieve lightheartedness, Ouvry suggests that you say, “I hold it lightly,” to yourself when you breathe in and “I care deeply,” when you breathe out.

With this method, you are not denying your concerns or being controlled by them but rather changing what you do or rather don’t do with them. By filling your mind with calming words and your body with air, you invite in alternative thoughts, feelings and experiences. When worries move from all consuming to just existing, lightheartedness– a “playful, involved detachment” (Ouvry) – arises and helps you cope.

Do you find that there is a critical voice in your head that follows you around all day and all night? It may pop up as you get out of bed (“Late again!”) or when you look in the mirror (“You look exhausted”). Or you notice it when you get to work (“You never get things done on time”). And when you meet people you hear that voice nagging at you saying, “What a bore you are.” If this sounds familiar then you might take some momentary comfort in knowing that you are not alone--- and I don’t mean you are not alone because your critic follows you. I mean that almost all of us have that voice at times. The question is—what are you going to do about it?

Self-criticism won’t motivate you

Some people think that they need to criticize themselves to get motivated to get things done. “I will lose all my motivation if I don’t criticize myself for my stupid mistakes”, one woman told me after she had just told me that she was behind on her work because she felt too depressed to get things done. But self-criticism is a key symptom of depression and anxiety and will make it difficult for you to try new behavior because you are afraid you will be filled with regrets. Self-criticism can demotivate and demoralize you and take away the creativity and energy that you need to get things done. Think about this theory of motivation. It would imply that the most highly motivated people would be those people who are severely self-critical and depressed. Does that make sense? Isn’t depression related to lower productivity and more absenteeism from work? Is it self-criticism that is the most helpful way for you to motivate yourself? Or would rewarding yourself and encouraging yourself be a better strategy?

Don’t take your self-criticism so seriously

This may sound odd to say that the self-critical voice shouldn’t be taken seriously. But just because you are thinking something doesn’t mean that it is important, relevant, or something to spend time with. I like to think of these negative thoughts as the telemarketing call that you don’t take. Or, the caller ID that tells you it’s someone you don’t want to talk to. Or you can think of the self-critical thought as one of the trains at Grand Central Station that’s not going in your direction. Simply having a negative thought does not mean it is at all relevant to your valued goals. If you focus on your goals—and carry out challenging and sometimes difficult behavior to accomplish those goals—you can allow the self-critical voice to yack away in the background while you continue to move forward. Think about self-criticism as eaves-dropping on someone else’s conversation.

Replace self-criticism with self-correction

An alternative to the self-critical voice is the self-correction voice. Imagine the following: You are learning how to play tennis and you hit the ball into the net. The trainer comes out and tells you to whack yourself in the head ten times. Is that a good idea? In contrast, imagine a different trainer who shows you exactly how to hit the ball over the net. Which is the better approach? You can correct yourself without criticizing yourself. You can say, “OK, that behavior didn’t work this time, so let me try a different approach”. Replace your self-criticism with self-correction. Then you can use your mistakes as an opportunity to improve.

Be specific

Self-criticism is often very general and very vague. Seldom does the person actually say, “Well, I need to hold the racquet this way rather than that way.” Rather, it is in very general terms, “I’m a lousy player” or, “I’m an idiot”. Check out your self-critical voice and ask yourself if you are making gross generalizations about yourself. Try to replace these statements with specific behaviors that you can change. After all, it’s a lot easier to change the way you hold the racquet than to stop being an idiot. (Here’s the test: How would you know when you had stopped being an idiot? How would you know if you are now holding the racquet correctly?)

Avoid the double-standard

Finally, be as kind to yourself as you would be to a friend. I have found that the nicest people I know are often incredibly self-critical---even cruel toward themselves. This is a double standard that only makes you feel worse. Try this: write out your self-critical statements for a day and then imagine saying all these things to your best friend. Why would you think it would be cruel and unfair to do that? In contrast, try saying supportive things to yourself that you would say to a friend. You will get a lot further rewarding and supporting yourself than by treating yourself in a way you wouldn’t treat a friend—or a stranger.

You won’t build a successful life on criticizing yourself. You will build it on getting things done.

I used to think, yoga’s great, but it would take an act of Congress and 100 fearless Marines to get me in some of those yoga poses. However, you can do yoga without getting into positions that would make Gumby scream.

“The biggest myth about yoga is that you have to be flexible and contort yourself into difficult poses,” says Kirsten Tillisch, MD, and director of the Mind Body Medicine Program at the UCLA Center for the Neurobiology of Stress at the David Geffen School of Medicine.  “Holding a challenging pose can lead to a deeper meditation, but these poses are really a tool to calm the overactive mind.  I have patients who can achieve the same results that are very ill, or can't even walk.  Yet, yoga can still access the brain, and be a force for deep healing and peace.”

That’s because yoga is merely uniting mind and body, so anybody with a mind and a body can do it. There are many schools of yoga, but most combine exercise, meditation and breathing.[1-3]

 Exercise

I know—hate it, as most overweight people do. But let’s not worry about that. I have good news, and a plan.  First, the plan: we will find a fat-friendly exercise. We have enough grief dealing with our excess weight, so grief out—easy in. As for “no pain, no gain”... I am trying to lose, not gain, so pain is out.

 Now here’s the good news about exercise. When you are really large and very sedentary—the smallest movement is actually a lot of exercise. In my yoga practice I sit on my bed and raise my arms up and down, with my palms flattened, and fingers extended, like a large, bird taking fight.

“I don't like to think of yoga as ‘exercise’ for the body,” says Dr. Tillisch. “It's work by the body for the benefit of the brain.  For example, if a patient cannot move a limb because of a stroke, I have them do the movements in their imagination. There is brain imaging data that shows that even paralyzed people activate the brain regions involved in basic movements, so why not exercise the brain, even if you can’t exercise the body.” 

Meditation

Very broadly speaking, meditation is training the mind to induce a mode of consciousness by concentrating in a way that brings you into the present.  The simplest way for me to do this is to close my eyes and focus on my breathing. [4-6]

Breathing

“The force for deep healing and peace stems from the breath, the concentration, and the marriage of the mind and body into a practice that brings the person into the present moment - not an easy feat,” explains Dr. Tillisch. Since breathing is a continuous enterprise between our inside and outside worlds, naturally it is vital to yoga. The breathing technique that I use for my yoga practice is simple deep, slow, focused diaphragmatic breathing.   By this I mean, pull and push your breath using the muscles of your diaphragm. Slow, deep mindful breathing works on the hypothalamic-pituitary-adrenal (HPA) axis, which is the transmission of the stress vehicle.  When you become stressed, the brain immediately calls on the HPA, which is linked to the nervous and endocrine systems and affects most bodily functions. [7-9]The HPA inaugurates a battery of functions by dispatching stress hormones, and metabolizing glucose quickly in preparation for the eventuality of fight-or-flight.  Deep focused breathing has the opposite effect. It decreases the up-regulated neurochemicals involved in those stress regulatory processes. [1, 10]

 A Simple Yoga Practice

Make yourself comfortable. I suggest beginning with the mantra, “I love and accept myself just as I am.”  My former mentor, the late Dr. Candace Pert, who discovered the opiate receptors on the brain, [11-17] developed this mantra; it has neurolinguistic programming rewards. It also promotes self-acceptance without discouraging change. Repeat this nine times because the mantra has nine words and humans are drawn to uniformity and ritual, which is why religions use them.[18-22] This ritual signals the beginning of meditation, which will help facilitate achieving the meditative mindset. Then simply close your eyes, and coordinate: the arm raising exercise described earlier, with your deep diaphragmatic breathing, while mentally focusing on your breath as it travels in and out of your body. So, breathe in as you raise your arms, and out as you lower your arms.  After you have done that nine times, think chaos out as you exhale, peace in as you inhale. Repeat this in sets of nine.    

If you need to modify this to better suit your needs, then by all means do.  The most important thing is that as compulsive overeaters we practice being aware, and staying in the moment.  We must focus on where we are, as opposed to where we have been, or where we want to go.  So do not fall into that, “When I’m thin I am going to start doing yoga.” Yoga is a good way to love and heal your self now.  At the end of the day doesn’t loving and healing yourself present the biggest challenges in your life? They do in mine. Remain fabulous and phenomenal.

Sidebar: Not surprisingly,  Psychology Today was recently chosen as the top Psychology Website; Very surprisingy, I was chosen as one of the "30 Most Influential Neuroscientists Alive Today" I am so honored by this, and I truly believe this is largely because of the unwavering support of my readers and Psychology Today.  So this really belongs more to you guys than me.  Thank you. - Billi 

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REFERENCES

1.         Zope, S.A. and R.A. Zope, Sudarshan kriya yoga: Breathing for health. Int J Yoga, 2013. 6(1): p. 4-10.

2.         Zhang, J., et al., Effects of yoga on psychologic function and quality of life in women with breast cancer: a meta-analysis of randomized controlled trials. J Altern Complement Med, 2012. 18(11): p. 994-1002.

3.         Yoshihara, K., et al., Profile of mood states and stress-related biochemical indices in long-term yoga practitioners. Biopsychosoc Med, 2011. 5(1): p. 6.

4.         Wunderli, J., [Meditation in yoga]. Schweiz Arch Neurol Neurochir Psychiatr, 1972. 110(2): p. 366-76.

5.         Wolsko, P.M., et al., Use of mind-body medical therapies. J Gen Intern Med, 2004. 19(1): p. 43-50.

6.         Whitton, S., Focus on self: discover the self through Yoga. Insight, 2011. 36(3): p. 23.

7.         Rosmond, R., Stress induced disturbances of the HPA axis: a pathway to Type 2 diabetes? Med Sci Monit, 2003. 9(2): p. RA35-9.

8.         Rincon-Cortes, M. and R.M. Sullivan, Early life trauma and attachment: immediate and enduring effects on neurobehavioral and stress axis development. Front Endocrinol (Lausanne), 2014. 5: p. 33.

9.         Pasquali, R., et al., The hypothalamic-pituitary-adrenal axis activity in obesity and the metabolic syndrome. Ann N Y Acad Sci, 2006. 1083: p. 111-28.

10.       Wahbeh, H., S.M. Elsas, and B.S. Oken, Mind-body interventions: applications in neurology. Neurology, 2008. 70(24): p. 2321-8.

11.       Pert, C.B. and S.H. Snyder, Opiate receptor: demonstration in nervous tissue. Science, 1973. 179(4077): p. 1011-4.

12.       Pert, C.B. and S.H. Snyder, Properties of opiate-receptor binding in rat brain. Proc Natl Acad Sci U S A, 1973. 70(8): p. 2243-7.

13.       Pert, C.B., A.M. Snowman, and S.H. Snyder, Localization of opiate receptor binding in synaptic membranes of rat brain. Brain Res, 1974. 70(1): p. 184-8.

14.       Pert, C.B., A. Pert, and J.F. Tallman, Isolation of a novel endogenous opiate analgesic from human blood. Proc Natl Acad Sci U S A, 1976. 73(7): p. 2226-30.

15.       Pert, C.B., et al., (D-Ala2)-Met-enkephalinamide: a potent, long-lasting synthetic pentapeptide analgesic. Science, 1976. 194(4262): p. 330-2.

16.       Pert, C.B., G. Pasternak, and S.H. Snyder, Opiate agonists and antagonists discriminated by receptor binding in brain. Science, 1973. 182(4119): p. 1359-61.

17.       Pert, C.B., M.J. Kuhar, and S.H. Snyder, Opiate receptor: autoradiographic localization in rat brain. Proc Natl Acad Sci U S A, 1976. 73(10): p. 3729-33.

18.       Bongartz, D. and S. Kraft, [Promoting resilience with rituals]. Kinderkrankenschwester, 2013. 32(3): p. 97-9.

19.       Bright, M.A., Therapeutic ritual. Helping families grow. J Psychosoc Nurs Ment Health Serv, 1990. 28(12): p. 24-9.

20.       Cargill, K., Desire, ritual, and cuisine. Psychoanal Rev, 2007. 94(2): p. 315-32.

21.       Crespo, C., et al., Family routines and rituals in the context of chronic conditions: a review. Int J Psychol, 2013. 48(5): p. 729-46.

22.       Dafni, A., Rituals, ceremonies and customs related to sacred trees with a special reference to the Middle East. J Ethnobiol Ethnomed, 2007. 3: p. 28.

Sex is a wonderful thing that has potentially life-altering consequences—particularly for teens.  Teen pregnancy can derail educational opportunities.  Sexually transmitted diseases from unprotected sex can have lifelong consequences. 

Because sex is so consequential, sex education is a routine part of teen education, though regions vary in the content of that education.  Some areas of the United States focus primarily on “abstinence only” education that asks teens to refrain from having sex at all.  Other regions have a broader base for their sex education that suggests that teens wait to have sex until they are older, but also provides information about contraception and ways to prevent sexually transmitted infections. 

The best possible outcome for sex education programs is for teens to have an appreciation for the desirability of sex and for them to be able to engage in healthy sexual behavior.  The longer that teens wait to initiate having sex and the more that they practice safe sex (like using condoms) the less likely that they will suffer from the potential negative consequences of having sex.

The most effective programs take a broad-based approach to sex education.  They provide facts about sexual function and healthy sexual practices.  They provide information about risks.  They also give teens practice having difficult conversations about saying no and using condoms.  In addition, they give homework to teens to speak to pharmacists about condoms in order to reduce their anxiety about buying them at the store.

A fascinating paper by Valerie Reyna and Britain Mills in the August, 2014 issue of the Journal of Experimental Psychology: General explored whether a sex education curriculum could be improved by using an understanding of differences between the way teens and adults learn about risks. 

Valerie Reyna and her colleagues have developed a comprehensive model of learning they call fuzzy trace theory.  One of the components of this model is that people store information in a number of different ways.  They learn about the surface of what they were told as well as the gist, which is a summary of the broad meaning of what they were told.

An interesting component of this theory is that adults tend to focus on the gist of what they learn, but that teens often focus on the surface details. 

In the case of sex education, this can be a problem, because many of the facts that teens learn about the consequences of unprotected sex are taught as probabilities.  For example, teens may be taught that the chances of getting pregnant after having unprotected sex are about 1 in 12.  That means that heterosexuals who repeatedly have unprotected sex are highly likely to create a pregnancy. 

Adults readily store this gist information, but teens tend to get focused on the details and remember the probability.  Consequently, they judge unprotected sex as less risky than they should.

In order to overcome this bias in teens, Reyna and Mills took an established sex education curriculum (called Reducing the Risk) and modified it to include more focus on gist level information and less focus on details that teens might remember in ways that would reduce their assessment of the severity of the risks of unsafe sex. 

In a randomized experiment, over 700 teens from three states were assigned either to the original Reducing the Risk curriculum, the modified curriculum that included more gist information, or a control condition that focused on communication skills. The classes in each condition involved a total of 16 hours of instructions with some homework.

The teens were given assessments of their sexual behavior and their attitudes and beliefs about sex before the classes and several times afterward with a final assessment a year after taking the class to which they were assigned.

A year after taking the class, teens who took either curriculum felt they were better equipped to say no if they did not want to have sex, were better prepared to use protection during sex, and had a better understanding of the risks unprotected sex than those in the control condition.

In addition, a year after the class, fewer people who took one of the two classes were deciding to become sexually active than those in the control condition.  Those students who took the course that focused on gist level information were least likely of all the groups to become sexually active.   For those students who were sexually active, those who took the course that focused on gist had fewer partners than those who took the standard curriculum or those in the control condition.  

In addition, the students who took the class that focused on gist also had a better understanding of social norms about safe sex than those who took the standard curriculum or those in the control condition.

That said, once students became sexually active, they engaged in about the same number of acts of unprotected sex and expressed about the same degree of intention to engage in safe sex regardless of whether they took one of the sex education classes or not.

Overall, these results suggest that a broad-based sex education curriculum does help reduce the amount of risky sexual behavior that teens engage in.  In particular, it can increase knowledge, decrease the likelihood of becoming sexually active, and potentially reduce the number of sexual partners that teens engage with.  Using an understanding of the way teens learn can improve the effectiveness of sex education, and it can help teens to develop more accurate knowledge about the risks associated with unprotected sex.

This is just another way that research in cognitive science can be used to improve the way people learn.

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With the Rice case so much in the news, and the video out there for us to see with our own eyes what actually happened, countless other stories have emerged, people writing in to explain why they stayed or why they left in similar cases.

In my sister’s case she is no longer there to write down her story or explain why she remained with a man who eventually killed her. She no longer has this possibility, and so I will have to try to do it for her and for the other women in her position: dead.

This, all too common outcome does not seem to be much discussed, and yet it is frequent. I have seen the warnings in the subway, the picture of the man with his flowers apologizing and then the flowers on the coffin. There is an escalation of violence which can lead to death. Yet this possibility is not often brought up.

Many of the commentators on the subject stress the economic ties between the super-rich athlete and the wife who has little education or possibilities of making anything near the salary of the husband; they stress the economic dependency which makes a woman hesitate to leave her man. Yet this, too, is not always the case.

In my sister’s story it was, if anything, just the opposite. It was she who came from a distinguished and wealthy English South African family, and he who came from a large poor and Afrikaans speaking tribe. There were many siblings and little money, and the mother often used the hairbrush on the backsides of her many children.

My brother-in-law did have education and even the prestige of his profession. Ironically the man was a heart surgeon and had worked with Christiaan Barnard, the cardiac surgeon who performed the world’s first successful human-to human heart transplant. Yet he never paid for anything, or as my sister once told me, “not even a bottle of beer.” It was she who bought the big house and beautiful garden and paid the numerous servants whom her husband used to hold her down for his beatings.

So why did my sister stay? I think she was frightened, afraid this man would follow her to the ends of the earth, would never let her go. He needed to have her in his complete control, had her followed by a detective, and kept the children’s passports so that she could not leave the country.

She did come and spend a last holiday with me with one of her children and that is what she told me: that she was frightened. I don’t think I understood her fear and the control this man had over her life, or to what lengths he might go. She felt helpless in the face of such violence. This was in the seventies in South Africa. Today, fortunately, there are places where women can go if they need to hide.

Of course, I don’t think this is the whole story. There is always hope, that old harpy, that comes to the human heart: “This will be the last time,” the wife thinks, hope and a belief that love can triumph over all. But what is love? Can we say a man who beats a woman is worthy of such an emotion?

You can read the whole story of my sister's life in an article in The American Scholar called "Silences."

Sheila Kohler is the author of many books including Becoming Jane Eyre and the recent Dreaming for Freud.

She will teach a class at the Center for Fiction on The Writer in Fiction. Sign up for the first class by September 17. 

Becoming Jane Eyre: A Novel (Penguin Original) by Sheila Kohler Penguin Books click here

Dreaming for Freud: A Novel by Sheila Kohler Penguin Books click here

Last month, I was invited on Fox & Friends to discuss participation trophies. Detested by some, celebrated by others, they’ve become a hot topic again after a recent poll at Reason Magazine showed that 57% of people felt that trophies should only be given to winners.

But underneath all that, the question remains: should we give our kids trophies just for showing up?

Those perceptions change drastically among different economic and political groups, making the debate a proxy for larger political debates. As a sport psychologist, however, I actually think it’s the wrong question to ask: in my opinion, trophies are a bad metric for winners and losers alike. Countless studies have shown that we’re more committed to an activity when we do it out of passion, rather than an external reward such as a trophy.

The people who denigrate these trophies are often bent on teaching their kids that life has “winners” and “losers,” but this can also be a tricky matter. The science suggests that we need to be praise our kids on process, not results. For example, instead of dealing with defeat by telling our kids that “everyone’s a winner at heart,” we should praise them for how hard they hustled, what they did right and how they improved.

But it’s not just the “losers” we need to worry about; it’s the “winners” too. Phrases like “You’re a winner” or “You’re a natural” can actually be toxic to how kids deal with losing. As the work of child psychologist Carol Dweck shows us, praising kids for their innate talents (in this study’s case, their intelligence) actually makes it more difficult for them to cope when they’re actually confronted with losing. Kids who are praised for their effort rather than their ability tend to strive harder, enjoy activities more, and deal with failure in a more resilient way.

So: should we give our kids participation trophies?

To be honest, it depends. As an unexpected surprise for someone’s unwavering dedication and effort – absolutely! As a meaningless gesture for just “showing up”—maybe not. Kids are smart, and they know that being handed a participation trophy isn’t the same as winning.

I coach tons of world-class athletes, and the pride they feel from a big win doesn’t come from a ring, or a trophy, and it doesn’t come from someone else telling them they’re the best. That moment of pride comes from out-performing the best of the best, from knowing that years of relentless training led them to the performance of a lifetime. The pride comes from doing what they love and being the best at it.

And that’s a feeling no trophy can provide.

For more on sport psychology and motivation, follow Dr. Fader on Twitter.

Watch Dr. Fader's appearance on Fox & Friends below.

In a previous post, I argued that concepts and concerns, such as free will and determinism, can be complex in the same sense in which numbers can be: in other words, in combining a real with an imaginary part. As I pointed out, this enables you to represent such numbers on a two-dimensional, complex plane (left). But clearly, if the analogy between complex numbers and mental complexes I described in the previous post is at all real, you should be able to produce a comparable diagram visualizing what you might call the complex cognitive plane (below).

Here the horizontal axis of the real numbers corresponds to mechanistic cognition, with hyper-mechanistic equating to increasing positive values and hypo-mechanistic to negative ones. Similarly, mentalism corresponds to the imaginary, y-axis of the complex plane, with negative values being incrementally hypo-mentalistic and positive ones increasingly hyper-mentalistic.

Looked at this way, four main domains emerge: at the bottom right, a hyper-mechanistic, hypo-mentalistic one corresponding to autism, science and technology. For reasons explained in an earlier post, the eye of HAL from 2001 provides an icon for the cognitive configuration of a mechanistic mind, while the leading behaviourist, B. F. Skinner, supplies the equivalent in terms of a psychological paradigm that banished mentalism from its explanatory vocabulary and focussed entirely on behaviour.

The top left corner, hyper-mentalistic + hypo-mechanistic, corresponds to psychosis, religion and superstition, represented by the icon of the all-seeing eye of God from the Great Seal of the USA. Here Freud represents the corresponding, if less extreme, cognitive configuration of psychoanalysis: hyper-mentalizing in its belief in the power of the unconscious mind, and hypo-mechanistic to the extent that psychoanalysis went with dogmatic belief in nurture rather than nature—most notoriously where the "refrigerator mother" theory of autism was concerned. 

In the top right corner, Newton represents genius understood as corresponding to both hyper-mechanistic cognition (his maths and physics) and hyper-mentalism (in the form of his obsession with alchemy and biblical prophesy and numerology, as I explain in The Imprinted Brain). The final quadrant: hypo-mechanistic/hypo-mentalistic, would have to correspond to mental retardation.

In a previous post I suggested that the diametric model’s insights into IQ might produce two, rather than one, measures: a mentalistic score and a mechanistic one, which if expressed as positive in one case and negative in the other would sum to zero if scores were ideally equal and opposite. But now we can see an even better way of expressing mentalistic and mechanistic IQ scores: as a complex number expressed in the form (100 + 100i) where the first, real figure is mechanistic IQ and the second, imaginary one, is mentalistic IQ (and i represents the square root of minus one, as explained in the previous post). At the very least, the symbolism would be apt: a cognitive complex represented by a complex number! Indeed, such a measure of IQ would be something of an intelligence test in itself—and would certainly counter the simplistic snobbery which the current one-number-fits-all measure encourages.

What of the central zone? The area around the origin of both cognitive dimensions would correspond to a configuration representing normality understood as balanced cognition, not extending much beyond low values and certainly not into either the hyper-mechanistic or hyper-mentalistic extreme. By comparison with behaviourism and psychoanalysis, this corresponds to the cognitive configuration of the diametric model of the mind peculiar to the imprinted brain theory—a point I made in relation to the current crisis in psychiatry in another previous post.

Of course, all this might seem somewhat crazy to contemporary readers, but there are two concluding points I would like to make. The first is to repeat the fact that the diametric model of cognition has now been independently verified by brain imaging studies as a reality of brain architecture, as I have pointed out in several recent posts. Second, I can tell my readers that a stunning—and to me, totally unexpected—confirmation of the imprinted brains theory’s central predictions based on a huge data set will be published one week from now, on September 17th.  Watch this space!

(With thanks to Randy Jirtle.)

If the men of the NFL won't stand up against violence toward women, then the women of the NFL need to.

According to Adweek, the Super Bowl was the most watched TV program among women this year. Sure, there was Bruno Mars. But more and more women are coming to football for, well, the football. These days, 46 percent -- nearly half -- of NFL fans are female, representing a significant shift in the sport's traditionally male-dominated audience. Fashion magazines like Vogue and Glamour run stories on football fashion and Q&As with athletes. For the second year, Marie Claire included a multi-page insert in its fall fashion issue featuring tips on what to wear to a game, how to host a football party at home, and quotes from stylish "fangirls" talking about why and how they love the sport.

Indeed, the NFL has worked very hard to cultivate this female audience through rigorous marketing efforts like female-oriented sports programming, pop-up clothing boutiques at stadiums, branded home goods offerings like wine bottle holders and cheeseboards, and partnerships with nail polish brands to create sports-themed manicures ("fanicures"). There have been campaigns and products and million dollar efforts designed to welcome female fans to the sport. That Marie Claire special? It was sponsored by NFL.com.

On the surface, this would seem to be an encouraging move: A traditionally male-oriented, often female-exclusionary sport recognizing that fans can be, and are, of either gender. And yet, in its handling of running back Ray Rice's assault against his then-fiancée, now-wife, Janay Palmer Rice, the NFL has proven that it does not care about women. As far as I'm concerned, this leaves women little choice but to return the favor. Can you believe in women's rights and enjoy football? Can you be angry about Ray Rice and the NFL's inadequate handling of him but still feel okay about watching the game? The answer, to both, is no.

The NFL wants your money. But that, it has become clear, is all you are to them: a revenue source, someone to buy more jerseys and sit in more seats. After all: It was only the day before yesterday, after the full video of Ray Rice punching Janay Rice was released, that the Baltimore Ravens terminated his contract and NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell suspended him indefinitely. Goodell's first move back in May, when just part of the video was released -- the part that "only" showed Ray dragging an unconscious Janay out of the elevator -- was a two-game suspension. It wasn't clear, Goodell said at the time, what had happened in that elevator. Now, of course, it is.

I'd argue it was all along.

Football can be a beautiful sport to watch, a game of skill in which extraordinarily talented men do incredible things with their bodies. It is a game that, yes, requires and rewards a certain level of aggression. But the best players are the ones who unleash their aggression at the right times, and can do so with control and precision. On your fiancée in an empty elevator is not one of those times. That said, one bad apple can spoil the whole bunch, though I'd argue that in this case, there's more than one: Ray Rice, Roger Goodell, and the fans who continue to watch despite all evidence pointing to the fact that the NFL condones mistreatment of at least half its fans.

Goodell kept Ray Rice in the league because he thought Rice was someone people wanted to see play. If, however, it becomes clear that at least half of the league's fans emphatically do not want to see Ray Rice, or any other woman beater, play -- and, by the way, won't be buying any of your feminized game jerseys up for sale on NFL.com either -- then it's possible change will start to happen. If the men of the NFL won't stand up against violence toward women, then the women of the NFL need to. That starts with those of us who watch it.

Or, should I say, who used to.

Peggy Drexler, Ph.D. is a research psychologist, Assistant Professor of Psychology at Weill Medical College, Cornell University and author of two books about modern families and the children they produce. Follow Peggy on Twitter and Facebook and learn more about Peggy at www.peggydrexler.com

When I was in college, I came across a poem—really, a prayer—that made a lasting impression on me. It’s from a little book of Christian poetry by Ruth Harms Calkin. It goes like this (used with permission):

You know, Lord, how I serve You

With great emotional fervor

In the limelight.

You know how eagerly I speak for You

At a women’s club.

You know how I effervesce when I promote

A fellowship group.

You know my genuine enthusiasm

At a Bible study.

But how would I react, I wonder...

If You pointed me to a basin of water

And asked me to wash the calloused feet

Of a bent and wrinkled old woman

Day after day

Month after month

In a room where nobody saw

And nobody knew.

The work of being a psychotherapist is a lot like the work that Ruth Harms Calkin describes in her poem. Day after day, month after month, in a room known for its privacy and confidentiality, a therapist quietly meets with another person. Whether it is an old woman or a young man, bent and wrinkled or high-strung and anxious, they come. There is no applause, no real audience to speak of. There are just two people, engaged in an intimate exchange with no witnesses. The work of tending the mind, heart, and soul of another turns out to be a lot like the humble act of washing someone’s feet.

This poem touched me because I, too, have impulses to live in the limelight. I suppose that writing a blog and even a book is an expression of that impulse! But, with help from my own therapists, I have worked hard to not make a lifestyle out of it. When I am able to rein in my impulses and devote myself to the simple, private work before me, I find myself more rested, more centered, and more grounded. I discover anew each day that quiet, humble work can build a solid foundation from which real creativity and success can stem. It is the only way I know to keep at the daily discipline of being a psychotherapist.

Success in so many aspects of life, especially creative endeavors, rests on this simple foundation, too. Innovation of all kinds is rooted in the basics. You’ve got to work the fundamentals. You’ve got to keep your eye on the ball, try not to get ahead of yourself, and take one step at a time. Success requires simple, private, humble, even mundane daily effort. No one will ever know all the work you invested to make what you do look so easy or do it so well.

I spend a lot of time in the workshop that is my therapy office. I have tried to create a space that is simple and not too fancy. It looks a lot like a living room with a desk in the corner, warm and relaxed, neat and inviting. I selected art with the wisdom of psychotherapy in mind. As a reminder that life is a journey, I chose images of doors, paths, and winding roads. A few years after I first set up my office, I added a special piece to mark my achievement in completing training to become a psychoanalyst. It is a metalwork design of The Tree of Life, made by poor workers in Haiti who pounded into shape the metal from recycled oil barrels. To me, the work of psychoanalysis is like making something beautiful out of the scraps that lie within our reach.

Over my desk hangs a black-and-white photograph of a water pitcher and basin next to a neatly stacked set of white towels. I selected it years ago because I liked how the image conveyed for me the work of service, the cleansing of the soul, and the new beginning symbolized by washing. One day while I was working with a patient, I glanced over at the photograph and made the connection for the first time. Here I was, decades later, doing the work of Ruth Harms Calkin’s poem. I was washing the callused feet of a bent and wrinkled old woman, in a room where nobody saw and nobody knew. It was a moment of satisfaction that I will always remember, for I realized that I was making progress in my psychological journey, too.

Copyright 2014 Jennifer Kunst, Ph.D.

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This post is adapted from Chapter 5 of Jennifer’s newly released book. To read more check out: Wisdom from the Couch: Knowing and Growing Yourself from the Inside Out.

National Psychotherapy Day is September 25, 2014!  Check out resources here: http://www.nationalpsychotherapyday.com/

Everyone has untapped potential in some creative field. Yet, some individuals have far more of it than others, e. g., Shakespeare, Leonardo Da Vinci, Thomas Edison, or Steve Jobs. Apart from “creative” genes there are at least three key environmental factors that affect creative accomplishments.

Genes and Personality

A large number of fiction writers produce stories in English today but it is doubtful if any of them can match the accomplishments of William Shakespeare. His plays have certainly stood the test of time and are more widely performed today than those of any other author. Shakespeare also contributed hundreds of new words to the language, a feat unmatched by anyone else.

Scholars have puzzled over the causes of such unusual creativity for centuries and conventional wisdom today suggests that there are at least four key ingredients. The first pillar of creativity is having the right genes.

Some people are born with greater prospects of being creative than others are, although the precise biological mechanisms remain murky (1). Like many other personality traits, creativity is genetically heritable with genes accounting for a fifth of individual differences in twin studies.

In tests of creativity, a person scores high if they make a lot of unusual associations, by coming up with atypical uses for familiar objects, such as filing one's nails with a brick, or using it as a mallet. Such ideas are referred to as divergent thinking because they differ from more humdrum notions of what a brick is for.

Being intelligent enough to learn to read and write is essential for being a distinguished writer and the same is true of mastering basic techniques in other arts. Intelligence (i. e., IQ score) plays a surprisingly small part in creativity, however, as revealed in the Terman longitudinal study of intellectually gifted youth (2). These individuals grew up to be highly successful in education and got good jobs but were shockingly mediocre in the creativity department, producing neither books nor inventions. In addition to creative genes that somehow facilitate divergent thinking, there are no fewer than three critical environmental influences.

Three Environmental Pillars of Creativity

The second pillar of creativity is the environment of youth and living in an affluent home is no advantage as illustrated by the many distinguished writers, such as Dickens and James Joyce who grew up in abject poverty.

Creativity is enhanced by personal tragedies such as the premature death of a parent (events that are disruptive of education and can actually reduce intelligence). Children often develop a rich imaginative world as an escape from such tragedies. (Such stress also contributes to psychological problems, helping explain why creative people are so vulnerable to mental illness).

The third pillar of creativity is the political background. Creative people often find themselves in the role of outsiders whether as ethnic or religious minorities, being an immigrant, or being gay (that is like being an immigrant in the realm of heterosexuals). In the U.S., immigrants are seven times more likely to excel in creative pursuits compared to those whose families have been here for generations (3).

In Shakespeare's case, his prominent family were caught up in religious conflict exacerbated by changes in the religion of the reigning monarch and may have gone into hiding to escape the threat of summary execution. Being an outsider forces people to see the world differently from the mainstream and that oblique perspective favors creative thinking.

The fourth pillar of creativity involves being at the right place at the right time. Renaissance Florence was a good place to live if you wanted to be a painter or sculptor because the Medici family generously patronized these arts as a way of projecting their own power, thereby attracting ambitious artists. Moreover, the presence of successful artists meant that apprentices had a good opportunity to learn from the masters. Shakespeare's writing talent was also nurtured by joining a talented group of actor/writers and he could not have written his plays had he remained in Stratford-on-Avon.

Although every person has some spark of creativity that they ought to cultivate, most of us are not going to set the world on fire with our creative products. Now we know why. That doesn't soften the blow to our pride but it does provide us with four comforting excuses:

I don't have the genes for it.

My parents ruined my creativity by staying married and alive and failing to emigrate.

Alas, I am a member of a non-discriminated-against majority.

If only I had made it to Silicon Valley in the early1980's!

Sources

1. Reuter, M., Roth, S., Holve, K., and Hennig, J. (2006). Identification of first candidate genes for creativity. Brain Research, 1069, 190-197.

2. Subotnik, R. F., and Arnold, K. D. (1994). Longitudinal study of giftedness and talent. In R. F. Subotnik and K. D. Arnold, (Eds.), Beyond Terman: Contemporary longitudinal studies of giftedness and talent (pp. 1-23). Norwood, NJ: Ablex.

3. Goertzel, V., Goertzel, M. G., & Goertzel, T. G. (2004). Cradles of eminence: Childhoods of more than 700 famous men and women. Scottsdale, AZ: Gifted Psychology Press.

Despite the soul searching regarding the place of a college education in today’s world (Is college worth the cost? What’s a college education for, anyway? Must high school grads go to college?), there is some good news. A new book by Daniel Chambliss and Christopher Takacs, How College Works, offers some solace for those faculty members, administrators, provosts, and presidents who are weary of having to defend academe yet again. Better yet, the authors offer some direction—marching orders, even—on how to improve student life and promote academic success.

I can’t review the whole book here, nor can I even do complete justice to all the recommendations for improving undergraduate life that the authors offer. I will focus on those recommendations that can be readily enacted by faculty members, either on their own or in collaboration with administrators. I encourage interested readers to obtain a copy of the book to learn about the decade-long project that explored student life so intensively.

One thing: It’s possible that some readers, especially college and university professors, might look at the following list and say, “but we already do these things!” I have no doubt that some faculty members do some of these things (or something like them), but likely not in any integrated and ongoing way—consistency is important, as is a shared vision among most faculty and most administrators within an institution. What looks or sounds easy takes a bit of effort and heavy lifting—but there is positive payoff for the students and the supportive school. Here are five recommendations I culled from How College Works:

1. Relationships students form (or fail to form) have a big impact on their success. E. M. Forester famously said, “Only connect.” And there is the real challenge. Some new students make friends quickly with other students; faculty members can’t do much about whether and how such relationships form with or among their peers. But faculty members can work closely with new students in order to make them feel welcome, valued, and a part of the college community. Some faculty can be excellent mentors to some students—relationships that begin early can last for four or more years. Other faculty can extend a friendly welcome and serious support—behaviorally conveying that they are delighted to have new students. Being a standoffish or aloof teacher is not helpful (get out of that ivory tower for a bit!). The upshot? Faculty members should try to create constructive connections with new students early on—if they wait, it may be too late.

2. Students should learn from an institution's best teachers early on. Often the best instructors in a college or university are tending to advanced courses that call upon their expertise, which means freshmen won’t encounter them until they are juniors or seniors (and this is only if the students stay). Chambliss and Takacs suggest that institutions should work to ensure that the best teachers—the engaging lecturers, the funny but wise ones, those who could make reading a telephone book aloud seem wondrous—are on the front lines of the curricula. These teachers should be leading the introductory courses, those that first-year students are apt to take. This is obviously a sensitive issue. Deans and department chairs need to move gently here, but faculty members who have evidence (course evaluations, word on the street among students, accolades from their fellow teachers) should offer to teach an introductory course in the interest of helping their institutions and students.

3. Good advisors should be cherished and relied upon. Some faculty members work better with students than others do—some excel at helping students choose pathways through the college experience (what courses to take when, what courses to put off for later), while others just don’t. Such excellent advisors—like fabulous teachers—can have a lasting impact on students. These colleagues’ skills need to be leveraged wisely so they can connect with—and help—as many students as possible.

4. Connection makes the difference. Programs, teaching practices, curricula, majors—all the things that comprise a college—are less important than the people who breathe life into them. As the authors put it, “What matters . . . is who meets whom, and when” (p. 157). That is the main lesson. Meaningful and sustained connections between students and faculty members matter more than the courses themselves.

5. It’s all personal. The authors point to a particularly powerful practice that is a staple behavior among faculty who teach in liberal arts colleges but less likely to occur (all else being equal) in large university settings: Having a meal at a professor’s home. This simple form of connection is powerful and can favorably influence a given student for his or her entire college experience—it seems it might even keep some students who were wavering from transferring to another college or dropping out altogether. Never underestimate the impact of breaking bread with your students—they will remember the experience fondly for years.

We ordinarily make snap judgments upon meeting someone we do not know, often based on similar attributes of those we have encountered in the past. And, our insight generally proves to be true. But sometimes we are wrong, and this can lead not only to devastating disappointment, but heartbreak.

The problem is that we don’t have a quick and ready, reliable way to evaluate another person— predicting another’s foremost values and consequent behavior. It is important for students attending college to size-up another’s character, not just to share common values, but to avoid unnecessary conflict.

The cardinal virtue of any predictive behavioral behavior based upon one’s values is its ability to distinguish between which values and behaviors are malleable, and those more or less innate. Those that are malleable are mostly opinions, but those that are innate are intractable, need to be identified as quickly as possible.

The most common innate criterion is conformity, the need to belong. Those of us with this criterion enjoy the company of others, comradery, and feeling at one with others, whether it be in or out of the classroom; palling around with friends; screaming and cheering at a sports event; or sitting around laughing at a beer bar.

The second innate criterion is the need for self-mastery, self-control, and self-perfection. Those of us with this criterion are often loners, slightly suspicious of others, and into physical fitness, vocabulary building, or religious rectitude. In or out of our quarters, we always lock our doors; if we are found at a party, it will be sipping our wine on the outer fringe of the room; when we use a public restroom, we will carefully avoid touching the door handle on our way out.

The third innate criterion is the need for power, thrill-seeking, and exhibitionism. Those of us with this criterion enjoy outsmarting/manipulating others, prone to dare-devil risk-taking, and forever trying to impress other people with his or her abilities and/or possessions. We may have a primary innate criterion, like the need to belong and a secondary criterion such as the need for thrills, or it could be vise-versa.

The obvious advantage of recognizing our own as well as others innate criteria is not just to quickly size up another’s innate criteria and adjust our interaction accordingly, but if we are a conformist or loner, to have second thoughts about dating or getting into a car with a thrill-seeker behind the wheel.

 Examine your own and friends innate criteria to know where you converge and where you don’t.

In addition to the foregoing innate criteria is our most favored sensory system, be it visual, auditory or kinesthetic. Those who lead visually can quickly size-up others with a quick glance, are great at abstract thinking, and make instant decisions. Those who are primarily auditory, are slower in decision-making, but have a facility for words, readily learn foreign languages, are into music. And those who lead with their kinesthetic system, are in touch with their feelings.

We generally have a favored sensory system, along with a secondary stem, but rarely are we facile in all three systems. Lasting friendships often favor complementary primary systems, but connect with a secondary system. For instance, we may be visual and the other auditory, but we share common feelings. The two opposing modal strengths decrease competition, while the warmth of the kinesthetic binds the relationship.

Problems still will arise from time to time, however, when the visual person becomes inpatient with an auditory person’s deliberate decision-making, or the auditory person’s perpetual correcting visual person’s pronunciation of words and grammar. It is important that each respect the other’s strength in a given situation and not blame the other for not seeing or hearing whatever it is.

Identify your own and friends lead sensory system to respect and better appreciate your differences.

Those who favor both their visual and auditory systems can be very successful in their chosen field, but often unsuccessful in social and family relationships, where the kinesthetic connection may be neglected. Successfully identifying one’s own neglected system is crucial to making long-term commitments. When buying a car, a house, or marrying our lover, to neglect or ignore one of our three senses will place us at a major disadvantage.

For instance, in deciding to get married, we can check out each sensory modality individually. What do we feel, hear, and see. “He makes me feel terrific, I love hearing him tell me how much he loves me, but somehow, I just don’t see us settling down in a house surrounded by a little white picket fence. But, I’m getting older. No one is perfect in this world. So I’ll go ahead and get married.” As we might expect, this romance is over and done with in about six months.

Let us play another scenario: “She looks like a million dollars and boy, does she make me feel great when we are in the company of others or by ourselves, yet something tells me that this cannot last. But, to heck with self-doubt, I’ll propose tonight.” Again, as we might expect, this romance also is headed for failure.

And, our final scenario: “He looks great, sounds great, yet I feel something doesn’t quite fit.” And, of course, it doesn’t.

These three sensory systems operate independently. Our self-interest is best served when we get the green light in all three systems, since the ignored sensory system will always prevail.

It has been well-documented that perceived support is associated with greater health and well-being^1,2. Knowing that you’ll have someone there when you need them is a great comfort. However, the effects of actually getting help from others are mixed. When it works, support makes us feel good and can have tremendously positive effects on our lives³. But other times it doesn’t help, and can even make us feel worse^4,5,6. So when is support from our loved ones well-received and when does it backfire?

There are several reasons why support may not be effective. Sometimes the people supporting us aren’t that good at providing the right kind of support^7,8. Another possibility is that receiving support makes the recipient feel indebted to the provider, leading to negative feelings⁹. And finally receiving help could be a blow to self-esteem¹⁰.

A recent study by Christopher Burke and Jessica Goren¹¹ at Lehigh University examined this third possibility. According to the threat to self-esteem model¹⁰ help can be perceived as supportive and loving, or it can be seen as threatening if that help is interpreted as implying incompetence. According to Burke and Goren, support is especially likely to be seen as threatening if it is in an area that is self-relevant or self-defining – That is, in an area where your own success and achievement are especially important. Receiving help with a self-relevant task can make you feel badly about yourself, and this can undermine the potential positive effects of the help. For example, if your self-concept rests, in part, on your great cooking ability, it may be a blow to your ego when a friend helps you prepare a meal for guests because it suggests that you’re not the master chef you thought you were. Burke and Goren conducted two studies to determine if attempts to help with a self-relevant stressor led to more negative feelings.

Study 1 focused on a survey of graduating law students who were preparing for the Bar Examination, a highly stressful test that all lawyers must take if they wish to practice law professionally. For these law students, success on the exam was extremely self-relevant, with the students rating it as extremely important to them. In the weeks leading up to the test, the students completed daily measures of their own anxious mood, whether or not the biggest stressor they faced that day was related to the exam, and whether or not their partner had provided emotional support. Results showed that closer to the exam date, and on days when the students were especially stressed about the exam, receiving emotional support was associated with more anxiety than on days when the exam was less salient. That means that when students were worried about the exam, emotional support was especially ineffective.

In Study 2, the researchers tested their hypothesis in a controlled experimental setting. This time, they examined how support from a stranger on a self-relevant or irrelevant task might lead to distress, and how this might be due to the negative feelings about oneself that are elicited by that offer to help.

In this second study, the researchers recruited undergraduate students who had rated academic achievement as extremely important to them. Thus academic tasks were highly self-relevant to this group of students. The researchers asked the students to complete 20 very difficult math and logic problems. For some, the task was framed as self-relevant and for others it was not. Those in the self-relevant condition were told that the task was a measure of intelligence and academic potential, while those in the non-self-relevant condition were told that the purpose of the task was merely to determine the difficulty of the questions. After participants completed the first ten items, those assigned to the social support condition were offered a calculator to help with the rest of the problems.

How did the students respond to the experimenter’s offer to help? Both before and after the task, participants rated their own emotional distress - anxious, sad, as well as their feelings about themselves - ashamed, dissatisfied with oneself. The results showed that for students who believed the task was self-relevant (that is, indicative of intelligence and academic prowess), those who were helped by the experimenter had larger increases in both emotional distress and negative self-evaluations than those who didn’t get help. Those who didn’t believe the task was self-relevant showed much smaller negative reactions to the support. In addition, the more negatively the support impacted self-evaluations, the more likely the students were to experience increased distress. This suggests that support had negative emotional consequences in part because it made the students feel dissatisfied with themselves.

This research shows that sometimes well-intentioned efforts to help can backfire. When you help others with the things that are most important to them, your efforts could do more harm than good. This makes it especially difficult to help your loved ones because effective support is hardest to provide when it’s about something that really matters, the very situation where you are most likely to want to help.

This research did not address how one can provide more effective support, but it suggests that finding ways to make help less threatening to the self-concept of the recipient could go a long way toward making it more effective. Perhaps showing the recipient that you still very much respect their abilities could reduce the harmful effects of the help. In addition, providing support in a way that is less apparent to the recipient allows them to benefit from it because they don’t perceive it as support^6,12. Thus, when support is hidden from view, it’s less threatening to your self-worth.

Gwendolyn Seidman, Ph.D. is an associate professor of psychology at Albright College, who studies relationships and cyberpsychology. Follow her on Twitter for updates about social psychology, relationships, and online behavior.

References

¹ Cohen, S. (2004). Social relationships and health. American Psychologist, 59, 676–684. doi: 10.1037/0003-066X.59.8.676

² Holt-Lunstad, J., Smith, T. B., & Layton, J. B. (2010). Social relationships and mortality risk: A meta-analytic review. PLoS Medicine, 7, e1000316. doi:10.1371/journal.pmed.1000316

³ Feeney, B. C., & Collins, N. L. (2014). A new look at social support: A theoretical perspective on thriving through relationships. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin. doi: 10.1177/1088868314544222. Published online before print August 14, 2014, http://psr.sagepub.com/content/early/2014/08/15/1088868314544222

⁴ Barrera, M., Jr. (1986). Distinctions between social support concepts, measures, and models. American Journal of Community Psychology, 14, 413– 445.

⁵ Bolger, N., Foster, M., Vinokur, A. D., & Ng, R. (1996). Close relationships and adjustment to a life crisis: The case of breast cancer. Journalof Personality and Social Psychology, 70, 283-294. doi: 10.1037/0022-3514.70.2.283

⁶ Bolger, N., Zuckerman, A., & Kessler, R. C. (2000). Invisible support and adjustment to stress. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 79, 953–961. doi: 10.1037/0022-3514.79.6.953

⁷ Coyne, J. C., Wortman, C. B., & Lehman, D. R. (1988). The other side of support: Emotional overinvolvement and miscarried helping. In B. H. Gottlieb (Ed.), Marshaling social support: Formats, processes, and effects (pp. 305–330). Newbury Park, CA: Sage

⁸ Martire, L. M., Stephens, M. A. P., Druley, J. A., & Wojno, W. C. (2002). Negative reactions to received spousal care: Predictors and consequences of miscarried support. Health Psychology, 21, 167–176. doi: 10.1037/0278-6133.21.2.167

⁹ Gleason, M. E. J., Iida, M., Bolger, N., & Shrout, P. E. (2003). Daily supportive equity in close relationships. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 29, 1036-1045. doi: 10.1177/0146167203253473

¹⁰ Fisher, J. D., Nadler, A., & Whitcher-Alagna, S. (1982). Recipient reactions to aid. Psychological Bulletin, 91, 27–54. doi:10.1037/0033-2909.91.1.27

¹¹ Burke, C. T., & Goren, J. (in press). Self-evaluative consequences of social support receipt: The role of context self-relevance. Personal Relationships. doi: 10.1111/pere.12039. Available online before print http://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1111/pere.12039/abstract

¹² Bolger, A., & Amarel, D. (2007). Effects of social support visibility on adjustment to stress: Experimental evidence. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 92(3), 458-475. doi:10.1037/0022-3514.92.3.458

As a senior circuit judge, I have the opportunity, if I wish, to substitute in court from time to time. Because of other projects, I rarely do. But a “plea” from a former colleague induced me to spend 2 days in what is called VOP court or Violation of Probation Court.  Friendship has its downside!

VOP court is a grind. Every revocation case has time standards and it is up to the judge to consider each case carefully, yet dispose of it in an expeditious manner. Prisoners stack up like departing airplanes. In order to speed along the process, I review the facts of the violation, and offer an advisory opinion as to disposition of the case. In other words, I let the defendant and lawyer know up-front what would happen if he/she admitted the violation, rather than scheduled a hearing.

As people know, most criminal cases are disposed by plea agreement. Although there has been criticism about our draconian sentences; in fact, cases usually score to probation, based upon a Florida Supreme Court mandated score sheet. Certainly serious crimes such as rape, robbery, murder do not score to probation, but defendants who plead to property crimes typically do. However, when you are dealing with a basically non-rule following group, a probation sentence simply delays the inevitable. Most people on probation eventually get sent to state prison.

In addition, the system itself builds in failure. Court costs for various entities plus monthly costs of supervision can lead to amounts in excess of $1000.00. Then, if an offender owes restitution, the amount is even higher. Certainly, a victim should be made whole if at all possible. But the probation system has a few vagaries. For example, say you, as an auto theft victim still are out of pocket by $400.00 as a result of the crime. The defendant agrees to pay restitution as a condition of probation, added to the other costs. Under the usual format, the probation office and the court system would first collect their costs.  Only then would the restitution amount be repaid to you. By that time, most defendants have been violated.

So, probation is difficult for most offenders, but when a defendant has mental health issues, probation is almost insurmountable. Defendants can have mental problems, yet be competent to enter pleas. The problem becomes: they score to probation, they are competent to enter a plea,  but they have an even greater hurdle than the average defendant in successfully completing probation.

One case from this last week especially stood out.  As a condition of probation, a bipolar defendant had been ordered to follow through with mental health treatment.  He was charged a nominal fee for his treatment, but was behind on payment of those fees, so he was discharged from the program and violated by his probation officer. The defendant claimed that he was unable to pay the fees due to his minimal income, which barely covered his living expenses.  At the court hearing, his mother appeared and said he could live with her. I thought that this could be a solution. He could live with Mom, use his $700/month disability check to at least pay for the mental health treatment at $40/month, and have the support of a parent on site. Turns out Mom wanted him home because she needed the check since her disability checks had not started to arrive. Apparently, Mom had her own mental health issues. This was one of those moments in court that I describe as a head slapper. At least, I was able to convert his court costs to a lien, and waive the charge for outpatient treatment, which alleviated the potential for new violations. But with his mental health issues and Mom’s, I don’t hold any hope for success.

Unfortunately, prison has become a dumping ground for people like this. Not that they haven’t committed crimes, but many are self-medicating and are caught with drugs, or are charged with non-violent offenses.  An article in USA Today pinpointed the problem:  the criminal justice system has become the de facto caretaker of Americans who are mentally ill and emotionally disturbed. According to a 2006 Justice Department analysis (the most recent one), about 1.2 million people in state and federal custody report some kind of mental health problem (USA Today, July 22, 2014).

Granted, sometimes prisoners report mental or physical health problems because they want to be transferred to better accommodations. “Better” is, of course, relative in this situation. Even allowing for that, there still are many inmates with bona fide mental health diseases. Treatment at the local level is almost non-existent, since the defendants in county jails are either awaiting disposition of a serious charge, which likely would result in state prison time or serving a sentence of less than 1 year.

The influx of mentally ill defendants to the criminal justice system greatly increased after public policy moved towards deinstitutionalization. To me, it is ironic that the de-institutionalization of state hospitals has caused an even greater problem: the warehousing of the mentally ill in prisons. The original intent behind the closing of state hospitals was to have community mental health centers. That never happened.  However, just because it hasn’t happened, doesn’t mean that it can’t. Perhaps now is the time to try.

The third genetic temperamental attribute is Active/Passive in the writing of our ‘play’ of consciousness. We have already seen the influences of “Internalizer/Externalizer” and “Extrovert/Introvert” on the fielding of maternal “Nurture”. Active/Passive orients the impact of the protective experience of the mother on her child. An individual with an ‘Active’ temperament naturally operates as the possessor of aggression and primarily identifies with the Protector persona. An individual with a ‘Passive’ temperament does not operate as the possessor of aggression and primarily identifies as a Protectee persona.  

One can readily tell whether a child is Active or Passive. Active children sit and walk and climb early in childhood. They take off at the beach. The Active child is naturally physical, physically expressive, and action-oriented. He is oriented to active, muscular, good aggression. In the context of good-enough loving, the Active child, identifying with his active strength, operates as a take-charge doer. The Passive child is not oriented by muscular, good aggression. In basic orientation, he is more absorbed elsewhere. He, in the context of good enough loving tends to be off daydreaming and contemplating the world around him. He locates the Protector strength and capacity outside of himself. The Passive child depends more on someone else to provide shelter from the storm. He identifies as the recipient of action rather than as a doer.

With a Passive temperament, one does not identify as possessing and dishing out aggression. Aggression is located in the other person. How does a passive temperament operate in the context of maternal abuse? This child does not identify as the possessor of
aggression, but as the helpless one who is the object of Mother’s aggression. The Protector persona in his inner play is too minimally mapped to protect from the steady state of sadistic attacks, which are too powerful and overwhelming anyway. This leaves him in the position of identifying as the distressed and exposed Protectee, anticipating external attacks, with no possibility of protection. As the recipient of attacks, in this context, he is inclined toward masochism.

In addition, a Passive temperament, in the context of a sadomasochistic play, defines the circumstances that generate anxiety. Anxiety results from the anticipation of, and the experience of, ongoing attacks without the ability to protect oneself in the context of a passive temperament. It derives from sadistic attack directed by the Abuser toward the Abused-Protectee, with insufficient and failed protection. And this position will express itself as anxiety later in life as a teenager and into adulthood. Anxiety is the inevitable expression of sadomasochistic attacks of the ‘play’ via a passive temperamental orientation.

If a person is Active rather than Passive in the context of a sadomasochistic play, he would generate an opposite scenario. He would identify with the active position of dishing it out, with the potential for sadism. He would be predisposed to become a bully, and make someone else anxious, as the unprotected object of attack.

And finally, the next post will address the last attribute of temperament in the Nature-Nurture question  - Participant/Observer.

Robert A. Berezin, MD is the author of “Psychotherapy of Character, the Play of Consciousness in the Theater of the Brain”

www.robertberezin.com

I learned a new word this week: the "precariat."

The term comes from a 2011 book by a British scholar, Guy Standing, who was once a high-up in the United Nations. A play on "proletariat" and "precarious," the word first appeared in France in the 1980s to describe temporary and seasonal workers. Standing argues that it's become the best word to describe the great mass of people who are under-employed, un-employed or unevenly self-employed.

The message to me is that resourcefulness and tolerance for uncertainty have become necessary for survival. Forbes, Fortune, and the Atlantic have all heralded the increase in the number of freelancers as a permanent change. The Atlantic's title, back in 2011: The Freelance Surge Is the Industrial Revolution of Our Time.

Don't blame yourself if you don't have a regular job with benefits, and you wish you did. Do hold yourself responsible for figuring out how you can market your skills or pick up new ones. You'll also need to plan on saving more and spending less, since it's likely that your income will be uncertain.

The so-called "Gig Economy" works for some, and if you don't have a job, you need to make yourself one of that club. If you do have a job, think about what you'd do if you lost it. Remember unions? They're the people who brought us weekends.  Make friends. Do favors. Burn no bridges. Prepare to be next.

Disasters, whether unforeseen acts of nature or man-made atrocities, have an adverse impact on the survivors and often cause widespread disruption, displacement, and disability.

Epidemiological studies have documented elevated rates of mental health disorders, such as anxiety disorders, posttraumatic stress disorder, and substance abuse in post-disaster settings.

In addition to essential basic resources such as food, shelter, and water, connecting with one’s social support, whether that be family, community, school, or friends, is an important resource that helps survivors recover in the aftermath of a disaster. Such social support offers great protection to survivors in curbing the development of these adverse mental health consequences.

In short, disaster survivors are likely to do better if they feel, or are helped to feel, safe and connected to others.

This raises the key question: Can social media bolster the social networks of post-disaster survivors and, in turn, prevent the negative mental health consequences of exposure to disaster?

 The Role of Social Media in the Aftermath of Disasters

Social Media (e.g. blogs, chat rooms, discussion forums, YouTube Channels, LinkedIn, Facebook, and Twitter) have, in recent years, played an increasing role in disaster management. They have been used as ways to disseminate crucial information (social media sites rank as the fourth most popular source to access emergency information) and also, more actively, as emergency management tools, e.g., using social media to receive victim requests for assistance or monitoring user activities to establish situational awareness.

Specifically with regards to the role social media plays in enhancing the social capital of disaster survivors, the research to date, though far from conclusive, offers some observations worthy of note:

1) Researchers have hypothesized that social media offers psychological benefit to disaster survivors, as their involvement in the online response to the disaster satisfies their psychological need to contribute. For example, after the 2010 Haitian earthquake, disaster survivors used social media to tell their stories and this, in turn, drove the mainstream media’s response to the tragedy.

2) In a case study of the adoption of technology in the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina in New Orleans, online spaces become virtual instantiations of the damaged and broken physical environments from which survivors were now barred. These virtual instantiations of physical communities were used as points of connection and sites to exchange social support.

3) Research into why the general public uses social media during disasters shows that maintenance of a sense of community and seeking emotional support and psychological healing (through virtual communities and relationships) are amongst the most common reasons.

4) Information and communication technology researchers have identified a new online practice around disaster response—virtual memorials being created by “image aggregators” when new Flickr groups are created immediately after a disaster.

5) After the shootings at Virginia Tech and Northern Illinois University, students participated in numerous online activities related to the shootings. Students perceived sharing grief and support over the Internet as being beneficial to their recovery (although we have no evidence that such internet usage actually affected their well being).

Old wine, new bottle?

So one could argue that, for millennia, humans have been driven to gather, share testimony, and memorialize in the aftermath of disaster. Anybody who works with trauma survivors can speak to the power of bearing witness to their trauma narrative and the healing that occurs when a survivor gives their testimony and how integral that is to their psychological recovery.

Perhaps social media is just shaping the way we do this, not changing what we are trying to do?

But I would argue there is more to the story than that. Mental health professionals know too well the vital importance of increasing access to assistance for survivors in post-disaster settings and, in this regard, social media technology offers unbridled promise.

Social media relies on peer to peer networks that are collaborative, decentralized, and community driven—the potency of this unique communication in helping survivors of disasters remains untapped. In addition, social media can be accessed at low cost, information can be rapidly transmitted through a wide community, and the online access creates ways for people from far afield to participate in the forum.

Of course, there are also many potential down sides to such communication: misinformation; blind authorship; presentation of opinion as fact; and privacy and security concerns being just a few. And then of course, there is the digital divide—access to social media is predicated on the assumption that the disaster survivors have access to the necessary tools. Those with a low socioeconomic status are amongst those who need the most support and services after a disaster and, of course, least likely to have the means to purchase the technology needed to access social media. So would this technology really be increasing access to help for those who need it or simply offering an alternative type of support for those who may have tapped into other sources of social support if the social media option did not exist?

So, can social media bolster the social networks of post-disaster survivors and, in turn, prevent the negative mental health consequences of exposure to disaster?

Well, the answer is we don’t know and we won’t know till we can actually demonstrate that such use of social media directly contributes improved mental health outcomes for survivors of disaster.

Still, increasing access to assistance for survivors in post-disaster settings remains an imperative for disaster psychiatry and, in this regard, the lure of integrating social media technology into our efforts remains very strong.

The views expressed are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of the Department of Veterans Affairs or the United States Government.

Copyright: Shaili Jain, MD. For more information, please see PLOS Blogs.