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The Toilet Function of Friendship
Do you have any friends who “unload” or “dump” on you, who dominate phone calls or monopolize dinners together by talking about their problems forever and showing no interest in you? Do you dread...
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The Jokes On Who?
Many believe, as the saying goes, “There is a grain of truth in every joke”, or that “a joke is truth wrapped in a smile.” Sigmund Freud suggested that jokes were true, serving two purposes: aggression...
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Your Six Year-Old and the Sex Talk
Ice cream soda, Delaware punch, What is the name of your honeybunch?So goes the jump-roping rhyme of little schoolgirls. Another common childhood rhyme follows: [Girl’s name] and...
View ArticleWhy Western Capitalism Has Failed Us
The extended recent recession and slow economic recovery has raised serious questions about the viability of our western style of free market capitalism.Angel Gurria, Secretary General, Organisation...
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Will I Ever Be Good Enough?
Adult children of narcissistic parents commonly grow up with this nagging feeling that they flunked childhood and it’s all their fault. They internalize the message they are not good enough no matter...
View ArticlePremenstrual Syndrome Update
More than 15 years ago I published my data on the simplest approach to the treatment of the emotional misery of PMS. Unfortunately it hasn't penetrated, so I'll do it again.The emotional/psychological...
View ArticleYouth Violence is a Family Affair
Young people with violent behavior can best be helped if the therapist views them in the context of the wider social systems of which they are a part. This typically means the youth’s parents, but it...
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How To Ensure You're (Almost) Always Right
"Facts that challenge basic assumptions—and thereby threaten people’s livelihood and self-esteem—are simply not absorbed. The mind does not digest them.”—Daniel KahnemanThere are numerous cognitive...
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The Disconnect Between Love, Sex and Marriage
The excerpt, 12 Rude Revelations About Sex from Alain de Botton’s book, How to Think More About Sex got a lot of play. My guess is because it really does make you think more about sex. What struck me...
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The Positive Psychology of Kindness
One of the core principles of positive psychology is generating positive emotion by deploying strengths. If youth feel grateful, they act kindly. They learn to understand that others have struggles and...
View ArticleWhat To Do About Fear, Obligation and Guilt
Fear, obligation, and guilt) is one of the most popular topics among people with someone in their life who has borderline or narcissistic personality disorder. Here is what I said about it in the Stop...
View ArticleThe Danger of (Some) Creativity Advocates
In general, even if I disagree with them about specific issues, I tend to be appreciative of creativity advocates – the educators, policy experts, science journalists, and concerned citizens. They help...
View ArticlePTSD: A Window into the Bodymind (Part 3)
In the previous post we learned how the dissociative form of PTSD - in which people manifestly underreact to reminders of past trauma - results from a damping down of emotional activity in the brain....
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Don't Quarrel
Who do you argue with? The Practice: Don't quarrel. Why?It's one thing to stick up for yourself and others. But it's a different matter to get caught up in wrangles, contentiousness, squabbles . . . in...
View ArticleCan Big Science Figure Out Consciousness?
President Obama will soon declare a second 'decade of the brain.' The multibillion dollar project, to be run by the Office of Science and Technology, hopes to map the human brain as successfully as the...
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Every silver lining has a cloud
Much of my life revolves around cancer, both professionally and personally. My ongoing research of breast cancer culture and industry that started over a decade ago entails an immersion into the topic...
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Truth, Impact, and Reputation
In the beginning there was google scholar. Google scholar was with god, and google scholar was god.~ John 1:1 (paraphrased)High school girls are those members of our species who are most concerned with...
View ArticleRelationships: A Gateway to Emotional Freedom?
I recently saw a Facebook posting from a friend of mine that listed 12 signs of spiritual awakening. They made me smile, as they were written in a typical DSM-IV “symptom” format, but instead of...
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Should you monitor the alcoholic/addicts recovery?
The alcoholic/addict in your life has finally decided to head down the path of recovery. They have admitted and come to the realization that their life is in a nose dive due to substance abuse and out...
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