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Is It Time to Go?
"Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that."– Martin Luther King Jr. Aloha,I’ve received many great, heartfelt questions recently...
View ArticleDiscrimination Comes in Many Forms
Kathleen Raven, a blogger at Scientific American, offers a new twist on how hearing loss can be used against you, sometimes inadvertently. In a series of posts recently she discussed sexual harassment...
View ArticleThe New Patient
Jeanette B was a 22 year old woman who four years earlier, had been diagnosed with schizophrenia. She was extremely dependent, had never worked, and lived in another state with her parents. When her...
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7 Strong Steps to Stop a Divorce
Many spouses ignore for years the alarms of discontent that their partner has been ringing. None of the complaints sounded like they might end up being causes for divorce. When their spouse...
View ArticlePregtiquette, Part One
Many people love Thanksgiving for its neutral tone, tasty side dishes, and lack of gift-giving pressure. It’s kind of like the Canada of holidays: even if you don’t love it, it’s pretty hard to hate....
View ArticleUnderstanding Mourning
The impact of bereavement and grief over the loss of a loved one causes most people to grieve and mourn. It is a mistake to set a time limit for so-called “normal” bereavement. “Come on, it’s over six...
View ArticleTalk is Cheap; Effective Communication is Priceless
Talk is Cheap; Effective Communication is PricelessDid you ever see a confused look or a blank stare on a subordinate’s face after giving them tasking instructions? Did your loved one ever give you a...
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From Sacks to Suicidality: Chronic Traumatic Encephalopathy
Ah, football. The great American pastime.The fresh cut grass and crisply-painted yard lines. The sound of helmets clashing in an epic stack of large men vying for a single ball. Stands packed high with...
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Why Did Lee Harvey Oswald Kill John Fitzgerald Kennedy?
At the time of the assassination of President John F. Kennedy in Dallas in 1963, I was not quite thirteen years old. Like other American families, we watched this nightmare and its bizarre aftermath...
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"Carrot and Stick" Motivation Revisited by New Research
We continue to revisit the issue of motivation and specifically, the “carrot and stick” aspect. New research seems to indicate that brain chemicals may control behavior and for people to learn and...
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It's Possible to Heal Yourself
A friend of mine suddenly lost her relationship after more than a decade of happiness with her partner. He was the love of her life. After he left, she felt empty and despairing. She talked with her...
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You Have Many Different Kinds of Strength
Human beings have a variety of strengths,coming in different degrees and types.If you’ve been reading my blog, you’ve become familiar with various examples of character strengths, as well as the...
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Questions for You Questioners and Obligers, About Treats
I’m deep into Before and After, my book about habit-formation. One of the sixteen strategies that I’ve identified is the Strategy of Treats (which will probably be the favorite strategy of many...
View ArticleThe Slow Pace of Revolution
I belong to a Facebook page where many wonderful women and some wonderful men who are military veterans from various generations have recently helped lead movements to reduce sexual assault in the...
View ArticleDo You Eat More When You're Happy?
As we approach Thanksgiving, we're all probably going to be eating more than we usually do—people eat more in big groups.But you may not want to give yourself a hard time about your usual ups and downs...
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Morph into a Business Meeting Ninja, Part 1
Meetings are an essential part of work life—yet, they are universally reviled. After all, how often do you hear people complain that they don’t have enough meetings? With too many meetings crowding...
View ArticleWhere Can My Depressed Friend Get Help?
QUESTIONHi Irene,I have a friend (for the past 20 years) who is extremely negative and depressed, impossible to deal with, irrational and who is completely draining me. Any and all suggestions I give...
View ArticleEverything you think about mothers and childhood is wrong
Developmentalist Jean Piaget famously observed that "play is the work of children." But in some places, work is the work of children. And that's not a bad thing.In her wonderful book Kids: How Biology...
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