Social media touches every part of our lives, including our romantic relationships, parenting, work life, communication habits, and entertainment. Do you have a question about how social media is affecting your life or how to handle it? Send it! I'll answer one or two questions every Monday on this topic.
Dear Dr. Jen,
Please help me settle a debate. Last month, I had my first baby. He is beautiful but I feel awful - fat, exhausted, and worn out. I changed my Facebook profile to a picture of my son. I love him and he is who I am right now! My best friend told me this was annoying and that I should have a picture of myself. Who is right?
-New Mom
Dear New Mom,
First, congratulations on the birth of your son! I hope you and he are both doing well.
As for this debate, I'm with your friend. Your Facebook profile is your online identity. I think it is critical that mom's not lose their own identity as they take on the new role of parent. Yes, you are a mom now and you are spending a LOT of time taking care of your baby. But you are still your own person, with a life and interests the go beyond that baby.
You may not feel like you look your best, but you are probably missing how beautiful, young, and happy you seem to others. Here's my advice. When your baby is napping, spend a quick 5 minutes fixing your hair and putting on basic makeup (just do the front of your hair if you feel really short on time). Then, find a spot in your house with good light, and take a few hundred pictures of yourself with your phone. I recommend using the burst feature. You will be sure to find one where you aren't blinking and you're making a good face. If you really want your son represented, try getting a good picture of yourself with him while he's napping on your shoulder.
If you feel like you still look tired or unpolished in these photos, there are some great apps out there to help. FaceTune is one. For $3.99, it will take your picture and smooth your skin tone, bring out your eyes, whiten your teeth, etc. If you're not ready to drop money on it, try Visage Lab. It is similar, and it's free.
A little bit of digital editing will bring out the version of you that you don't see shining through right now. Put that up on Facebook and remember that your friends love you. They might love your son as well, but your identity is important to them. They will love seeing your beautiful face.
-Jen
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