When we err in choosing a friend, romantic partner, or whom to hire, the person often is one of these types:
Hottie. Most of us are drawn toward people who society traditionally deems attractive: symmetrical features, not overweight, shapely in women, strong-looking in men, clear skin, full head of hair, etc. But because most people agree on who's a hottie, they're in demand even if they’re obnoxious. As a result, some hotties are particularly difficult to deal with, aware that some people will accept their bad behavior because they’re gorgeous. Per this Business Insider report, attractive people have an edge not only in personal life but in work, indeed in nearly all aspects of life. Do you want to give so many brownie points to The Pretty People?
Not too smart. We admire but tend to be intimidated by people who are much more intelligent than we are. We think, if only unconsciously, things like, “Who does he think he is?” or “Well, she may be smart but she’s too full of herself (or obnoxious, ugly, etc.) Should you try to tamp down your insecurity and value a person’s intelligence for the treasure it is?
Funster. Funsters laugh a lot, ever joke, and talk about the frivolous: pop culture, the big sports game, fashion, who’s sleeping with who. Yes, they make you laugh, but do their benefits to you outweigh their liabilities? For example, you may find funsters, as an employee or live-in romantic partner to be a procrastinator. Maybe you do need that light-hearted spirit in your life, or woulld you be wiser to value serious people more highly?
Laid back. It’s comfortable to be around relaxed people but some of the most interesting, productive people are intense and driven. Do you prematurely reject them because they can be stressful to be around and/or because you feel inferior?
Games-player. Most of us claim to like people who are direct but in practice, prefer the mystery of games-players: those who hide what they really feel and, worse, do things to make you think the opposite of what they feel. For example, a person is really interested in being your romantic partner but not only doesn’t show it but deliberately is dismissive. Many people are attracted to that hard-to-get routine. But are you sure you want to be involved with such a person? Later on, games-playing can turn into serious deception and drama.
Bad boy or girl. Some people are attracted to bad boys or bad girls. Perhaps it gives them someone to fix. Or they like that a Baddie might expose them to edgy things. But the relationship highway is littered with roadkill of relationships with Baddies. Might you want to resist Bad Boys and Girls in favor of people more likely to be good in a relationship?
The takeaway. So is there anything you want to do as the result of reading this article?
Marty Nemko's bio is in Wikipedia.