When I first read about the Stamford, Connecticut fire that took the lives of three children and their grandparents, and then read about the murder of six family members in Grapevine, Texas, my first thought was,
Why?
And then,
How can a person survive loss on that scale?
Regardless of our culture, gender, orientation, or religious beliefs, we have all experienced pain and suffering. It's one of the common threads of the human condition. But few of us have experienced grief to that degree.
And that scale of tragedy - it's so horrible, it's difficult to even comprehend.
We like to think that there are days where we are "safe", and for many Christians, Christmas is one of those days. We know rationally that life events, such as births, deaths, and accidents, continue to happen on Christmas just like any other day. However, we do feel a bubble of protection on our days of ritual - regardless of our religion or beliefs. That's one of the comforting things about rituals - it's something that's solid, something we can count on every year. When that bubble of protection bursts (or we realize it never existed in the first place), our foundation (and our beliefs) can get shaken.
We blame others, in part so we can somehow make some kind sense out of it. Because if we make sense of it, then maybe we aren't at risk - maybe we aren't next. It's so-and-so's fault. That's why it happened. And since we don't have so-and-so in our life, we think we're okay, we're immune.
Or we blame our Higher Power. How can a benevolent God cause such a thing to happen? Or, is there even a Higher Power in control? WHO IS IN CONTROL HERE? Because we certaintly don't feel like we are.
But sometimes things just don't make sense. Life can be brutal and ugly. And we are all at risk. Why? Because we are human. Because we love and have a connection with others. Tragedy is one of the inevitabilities of life. But sometimes that tragedy is on such a massive scale, we don't know how to even process it.
It is inevitable that we will experience pain and suffering in our lives. How can we protect ourselves from being engulfed in worry and anxiety? By admitting we don't have control over everything. We control the things we can; stop trying to control the things we can't; and help those who are suffering and in need.
The chances are that most of us will not experience a tragedy of that magnitude in our lives. But the fact that it does happen to others rattles our foundation. And that's part of being human as well - our empathy for those in pain. And those parts of us - the parts that fear, the parts that question, the parts that love, the parts that hate, the parts that grieve - are the foundation of who we are. They make us human.
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