My most vivid memory from junior high school was in the locker room. We were changing into our gym suits and I noticed Stuart’s very hairy chest and legs. That’s all. End of story. But that, of all things, was my most vivid memory from junior high school.
Hair. It may be our most observed body part, at least if the amount of money we spend on it is any indication. Shampoo, conditioner, (with hundreds of kinds to choose from,) haircuts, hair color, perms, hair extensions. Moving downward: Eyebrow makeup, eyebrow stitching or plucking, eyelash mascara, eyelash extensions, mustache and beard trimmers, nose and ear hair removers, chest-hair or down-there waxing or shaving. If we’re balding, there’s Rogaine, or a few grand on a hairpiece or transplants.
This year’s we’ll spend $80 billion just on the hair on our head. A Huffington Post reporter queried seven of her friends: On average, they spent $4,000 a year on their hair! And despite tough economic times, we’re not ready to cut back—The opposite: By 2021, hair care spending is projected to increase to $94.5 billion.
We don’t just spend money on hair, we spend time. Every day, we use hair torturing devices to blow, curl, straighten, and otherwise manipulate our locks. Women and metrosexual guys shave their legs and underarms. Every time we pass a mirror, we make sure our hair looks its best.
And if it doesn’t, we’re afflicted with the dreaded disease: Bad Hair Day, that ineffable, inexplicable tiny but significant variation in how our hair lays. It may only reflect hundredths of an inch but it can make the difference between feeling hot and feeling disgusting.
And heaven forbid, we get a “bad” haircut. That can deflate some people for two months.
Should you give more or less attention to your hair?
Perhaps reading all this reminds you that our hair obsession is absurd, shallow preoccupation with the trivial. Or perhaps you want to spend more time on your hair realizing how important it is to your self-esteem and how many people notice it-- Hey, Stuart, I still remember yours!
Marty Nemko's bio is in Wikipedia.