"You don't look sick."
"Stop talking so negatively about yourself."
"He tried to kill himself. He's weak."
These are some comments I've heard tossed around about depression. I have anxiety, but I've also suffered from clinical depression for my entire life. I can attest to you that depression looks differently on every person suffering from it. Some of us can't get out of bed, some of us have trouble showering, some of us can barely eat while others eat too much, some of us have chronic pain, others have trouble focusing and so on. Depression is like a garment of clothing; it form fits to each individual wearing it.
A person living with depression might not "look sick," but they are suffering on the inside. They are hurting. They are trying to function. They are treading water and their legs are tired. This person is barely surviving. Unfortunately, depression (like other illnesses) can have a terminal end: suicide. I have heard people call a person who has commited suicide "weak." This is analogous to mocking someone with a terminal illness for dying.
It is morally reprehensible to judge a human being for taking their own life as "a coward" or "weak,""ungrateful," or even worse: "selfish." The human being who took his own life was in excrutiating pain. He was ill. You might not have been able to see it, but he was suffering on the inside.
This is why we need to open up a candid dialogue about mental illness. We as a society need to begin to break down the stigma and preconcieved notions about what it means to be depressed. When we do this (talk openly about depression without judgment) we can focus on the greater goal, which is to heal.
I want a better life for those of us living with mental illness. I want to see a world where we can talk about the symptoms of depression without shame, without guilt, and most importantly without fear of being judged as weak or less than.
We are not weak. We are warriors. We are strong. It takes great strength to fight a battle that is within yourself. It may be invisible to the outside world, but it's there and you are brave for facing each and every moment like this one right now.