Today, 9/25/14, is National Psychotherapy Day. PT Blogger, Dr. Ryan Howes, has spearheaded a campaign to fight the stigma associated with psychotherapy so that people might become more open to receiving the quality help that is available. The stigma surrounding psychotherapy is challenging to overcome. But I am grateful to have a chance to do my part.
Over the years, I have noticed that the mere mention of the word "psychotherapy" strikes fear in the hearts of many. It is equivalent to Harry Potter's Lord Voldemort—it is the profession whose name shall not be spoken!
I am reminded of this idea whenever I attend a dinner party with new people. Inevitably, the dreaded question is asked of me: "So what do you do for a living?" I gulp. I look for an escape route. I wish I were a teacher, or a television editor, or a software engineer, or even an IRS agent. Because I know how intimidated people feel about psychotherapists—and I’m a psychoanalyst, so that makes it even worse. Many people have fantasies that therapists have x-ray vision and can see the deepest, darkest secrets of their minds. They expect harsh judgment and a kind of detached superiority from us. They wonder if we are always psychoanalyzing everyone in the room.
The stigma surrounding psychotherapy is easy to understand. Intuitively, we know that therapy is a vulnerable process. For those seeking help, it involves admitting a weakness or a need and putting themselves in the hands of a stranger before that stranger has earned their trust. When we feel vulnerable like that, we try to protect ourselves. We become suspicious of therapists and the process of therapy itself. We worry that we are going to be harmed in some way—that the power we give a therapist will be misused. We believe that therapists are just in it for the money; they don’t really care; they just like listening to themselves talk. Sometimes such fears are grounded, as not all therapists are ethical and competent in what they do. But these are the exceptions to the rule. By and large—as many who have experienced therapy will tell you and as the research supports—therapy helps.
In my own experience in therapy—as a patient and as a psychotherapist—I have had to confront my own prejudices about the forces that are at play in psychotherapy. I have discovered that psychotherapy is not dark magic, as even I had once feared. In fact, it is not magic at all. It can feel magical because it is not obvious at first how listening and talking can change things. Such a discovery can only be found through experience. But for many people who have had the courage to risk giving therapy a try, it becomes clear that listening and talking do help. Not through magic but through the disciplined, hard work of two people who come together in a relationship that is devoted to understanding the psychological dynamics at play in order to open up a blocked pathway for change.
So let's go back to the aforementioned dinner party. When asked what I do for a living, I try to smile and come across as casually as possible. "I'm a shrink," I say. It's the least intimidating way I know how to describe it. They usually laugh. A good sign. They usually give me a chance. Another good sign. And then after awhile, as they get to know me, they get a chance to see that I'm just an ordinary human being with a desire to help out other ordinary human beings. A particularly good listener, yes, but just an ordinary human being without a single magical power.
I hope that social experiences like these are corrective for people, giving them a chance to challenge their stereotypes and have a positive experience with a real, live, decent psychotherapist. But even more, I hope for this kind of response in my work with my patients. I recognize that my profession sometimes has a questionable reputation, and I am trying to do my part to help restore its good name. And the best way to restore its good name is to do good work by helping people find their way to a more healthy, satisfying and meaningful life.
Copyright 2014 Jennifer Kunst, Ph.D.
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National Psychotherapy Day is September 25, 2014! Check out resources here: http://www.nationalpsychotherapyday.com/
To see more of Jennifer’s approach to psychotherapy, check out her newly released book: Wisdom from the Couch: Knowing and Growing Yourself from the Inside Out.