Fifty Shades of Grey has now sold over 100 million copies. That means worldwide 100 million women have read it. The coming movie will be the blockbuster of the decade.
Fifty Shades is not just a curious sociological phenomenon to be mused over in academic seminars. With this kind of impact, it is like throwing a hand grenade into the sex garage. What has been the real impact of Fifty Shades on the sexual scene?
The novel, of course, is about sadomasochism. Ana is a bottom. That means she has transferred power to Christian, who tops her. Tops and bottoms are the two insider phrases for dominant and submissive.
Many people have never thought about these concepts. They have not considered that it might be interesting to transfer power, just for Saturday afternoons, just in the bedroom, so that one partner gives the orders, and the other does what he is told. This is called roleplaying.
Roleplaying may be a cohort phenomenon. This morning, I asked the thirty undergraduates, largely female, in my seminar if any of them had ever read Fifty Shades? One hand went up. Had any of them every heard of roleplaying? None had. They go into their relationships with the expectation that things will be 50/50 and that neither person will order the other about in bed. Many of them would find the notion, in fact, horrifying.
Yet somewhere out there are these 100 million women who have now heard of roleplaying, and don’t find it horrifying. The trailer for the Fifty Shades movie had, as of last week, been downloaded 36 million times.
So somebody out there is paying attention. I suspect the center of gravity is older married women for whom sexual relations have lost their luster but who for a thousand reasons want to keep their marriages intact. And here Fifty Shades has lit a spark.
So, the novel puts roleplaying on the table. Many women may wish to be Ana’s, and be sexual submissives. Fair enough.
But there is now good evidence that a number of women would like to be dominant, that they would like to take control in bed, and even dress up in domme clothing, and establish their dominance, and his submissiveness, by putting the handcuffs on him. Or maybe there’s a flogger hanging in the closet.
In other words, female dominance is coming into style. Sales of sex toys are booming, The take-up has stunned the manufacturers, and their excitement is reflected in various Adult Entertainment insider newsletters. Not a lot of adult content is pitched at women, but industry insiders say that the content-providers are now waking up to this new market of 100 million potential customers who have never downloaded “porn,” and who find the whole concept offensive.
But all of a sudden, these newly dominant women want to know, how you do it? What do your wear in bed? What do your order your partner to do? And where do you get the gear? (Sex shops, please no; there’s all this stuff on line, but what do you do with it?)
Sexual pleasure entirely oriented to the woman’s desires and needs is what female dominance is all about, and many women have never experienced this. But a buzz is now zizzing about the concept of the woman on top and male submissiveness. In the treat bags at the recent Emmy’s were included “male chastity” devices, which the dominant woman applies to her partner with the pretend rationale of “making sure that he doesn’t masturbate.” (Of course the submissive male, though appearing to protest mightily, is secretly thrilled at this emblem of his partner’s control.)
These dominant and submissive roles used to be a dirty little corner of the male stroke market. Men would lust after submission, which they would find at the boots of a professional dominatrix. But thanks to Fifty Shades, the pro-domme trade is now falling on hard times. Do it yourself at home is the wave of the future.