The worst thing you can say to a child who is worried and voices fear is, "you have nothing to be worried about." It only drives the fears underground, unresolved, which compounds the anxiety and makes it shameful.
Why do we need to retrain our anxious brains? Isn’t anxiety an inevitable part of life?
Yes, we all need a little anxiety to survive in the world. But when symptoms of anxiety begin to interrupt important daily living activities and impair our ability to function, our quality of life diminishes and we get overwhelmed. So like the Olympian athletes who train their bodies to stay fit, we have to train our minds to do the same.
What does anxiety do to brains and the way we think and see the world?
Chronic stress and severe anxiety can alter the brain's ability to manage stressful stimuli. Anxiety causes the brain to manifest debilitating cognitive distortions and see the world in often catastrophic ways. As a result, we may begin seeing the world with a dualistic mind as in all-or-nothing or black-and-white thinking, or we may get desperate and develop an excessive need for control, which can escalate into panic.
What is the best thing to say to a child who is worried?
The best thing not to tell a child is, “you have nothing to be afraid of.” Or “you need to snap out of it.”
Assuring your child that you understand his/her fears and normalizing the worried thoughts as part of being human is very important. Assure children that they are safe with you and that they can count on you for unconditional support. Do not try to minimize the worry. Acknowledge it and don’t make them feel ashamed of feeling scared.
Do you think anxiety is increasing, and if so, why?
As we progress into the new millennium, the numbers of people seeking treatment for anxiety will rise exponentially. It seems there are more foreseeable stressors than ever before. For example, in post-9/11 America, we have fought two wars, we have seen terrorist acts on U.S. soil, we are living with an unstable economy, and we have experienced a host of natural disasters—earthquakes, tsunamis, floods. In addition, we are facing troubling predictions about global warming and incurable disease outbreaks, just to name a few. We also get to watch all this chaos on our smart phones, tablets, and computers. We are so plugged in and tuned into the world that it now seems people can’t afford not to stay updated on all the unrest that’s going in the world around us.
What led you to write this book?
I had my own experiences with anxiety as a child, and the excellent treatment I received inspired me to help others. Also, my personal view is that there aren’t many good books out there that really help people get to the root of their anxiety. I strongly believe my book does it very well.
What is the most surprising thing you discovered in researching/writing this book?
It forced me to revisit some of my own past experiences with anxiety that I had forgotten about. The revisiting was difficult at first, but it helped me gain new perspectives on experiences of my early years that I thought would remain unresolved. It was eye-opening, to say the least.
What is the most important point you want to get across?
Anxiety is easily diagnosed and treated with solid, evidence-based therapy that really works. No one has to endure the disorder and keep it secret anymore. Anxiety is a legitimate condition that we don’t have to be ashamed about.
Who would most benefit by reading this book?
Anyone who has experienced stress on the low end to severe anxiety on the high end will benefit from this book. It applies to everyone because anxiety is such an intrinsic part of life.
What is the most profound thing you’ve learned about yourself in writing this book?
That I am a survivor and that I am way stronger than I ever thought I was. If my anxiety episodes years ago were as bad as it gets, then I don’t have much to fear about anymore. What could be worse?
If you had one piece of advice, what would it be and who would it be for?
To anyone who’s ever crossed over to the other side of rationality and fallen into the menacing irrational cauldron of severe anxiety, you are not alone. Reach out and connect with people who are going through the same struggles as you. Read up on anxiety, stay curious, and never give up on finding ways to work on yourself.
What is it that you wished you knew when you experienced anxiety as a child?
That having anxiety does not cause sufferers to go “crazy” or to “lose their minds.”
What would you like to see happen as a result of your book?
I'd like to bring more people out of the “anxiety closet” and encourage them to seek help. I hope sufferers will learn to depathologize themselves and start accepting that anxiety is a condition that needs to be attended to. And, I want sufferers to understand that anxiety is not a condition that affects only weak-willed people or that results from a deep moral failing.
About THE AUTHOR SPEAKS: Selected authors, in their own words, reveal the story behind the story. Authors are featured thanks to promotional placement by their publishing houses.
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