December 25, 2011
In response to "Why I Advocate for Casual Sex" by Stanley Siegel, LCSW
"Sex positive" sounds good and gets hits, but...
any therapist worth his or her salt would be supportive of the person, but neutral, exploratory and non-judgmental about how the person engages in casual sex. Sex can be very healing - touch is powerful - but it can also be very destructive if one gets stuck on sex as the sole vehicle of intimacy and self-expression. Clearly, if the pattern is sexual addiction, there are inherent problems with casual sex. Casual sex can be empty - not just healing, as Siegel seems to suggest.
People explore and express many things through sexuality. We don't celebrate or sanction all those manifestations, because it is a truism that sex can be harmful, dangerous or abusive. That some forms of casual sex can be all of these is a given. So it's best to understand what's going on here, rather than give blanket permission.
For example, you wouldn't sanction casual sex between client and therapist, would you? Some, in the past, have advocated such abuse as "therapeutic" and "healing". That is simply not true, as has been proved by numerous studies. (See Glen Gabbard's Sexual Exploitation in Professional Relationships.)
Siegel's book will likely sell a lot, but if this is an example of the elaboration of his ideas, I'm not impressed.
(I will be writing blog posts on the movies A DANGEROUS METHOD, SHAME and PARIAH in the next week, as well as an article about Pornography and Addiction within the next month or so. Subscribe via RSS so you don't miss these.)
© 2011 Ravi Chandra. All rights reserved.
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