One of the easiest verbal traps into which we can fall is to respond to the question, "Do I look fat?" A negative response is believable only if the person asking the question is indeed thin. If the questioner could lose a few pounds, say between ten and 100, then a negative response will be perceived as untruthful and a positive response may elicit tears, anger or both. It is better to pretend that you have an urgent phone call to make and avoid the subject altogether. This upcoming Valentine's Day brings its own dangers to those whose romantic partner is concerned about her weight.
Valentine's Day, like Halloween and Easter, is a chance for candy manufacturers to sell their goods. There is, however, a significant difference. Unlike Halloween and Easter, when candy producers market candies to children (trick-or-treat size candies or chocolate Easter eggs), Valentine's Day is all about using candy to convey the message of romantic love. We are all familiar with the tiny heart-shaped candies communicating romantic "tweets," yet a more powerful expression of love is conveyed by one adult presenting another adult a chocolate heart packaged in an imitation velvet-covered box and tied with shiny red ribbons.
Have you ever wondered how a chocolate heart conveys romantic love? The linkage between chocolate and romantic love may be based in the Aztec belief that chocolate is an aphrodisiac. Supposedly the Aztec ruler, Montezuma, drank hot chocolate before going into his harem. (Data is lacking as to the effectiveness of the drink in his case.) However, cocoa beans were used as money by the Aztecs so, with the exception of Montezuma, people did not consume chocolate - they spent it. The luxury status of chocolate then continued back in Europe after cocoa beans were introduced to Spain, and the rest of the continent followed, upon Columbus's return from the New World in the 16th century.
One could assume that, in those days, chocolate was an impressive gift, yet the link with Valentine's Day waited a few more centuries. In the mid-l9th century, Richard Cadbury, the English chocolate manufacturer, put chocolates into heart-shaped boxes for Valentine Day gifts, and the rest is commercial history. The decades of advertising that followed have convinced us that there is a special connection between chocolate, hearts, and a February day devoted to romance. Interestingly, in Japan, it is women who gift men with chocolate on February 14th and a month later, on March 14, a holiday known as White Day, men reciprocate with white chocolate, although marshmallows are also acceptable. Marshmallows, when eaten half an hour before a meal, have the added benefit of boosting the neurotransmitter serotonin, which elevates mood and suppresses appetite.
But for those buying and receiving a gift of chocolate romance, there can be, to paraphrase a well-known expression, "a fly in the chocolate sauce." As the holiday comes only weeks after the beginning of our unofficial national diet day, i.e. January 2, presumably most people who have not abandoned their diet are still slogging their way toward a lower weight and bathing suit size. So the question is: Are you doing your beloved a favor by presenting her with a gift of chocolate temptation, or are you sending the message that she:
a) Is thin enough?
b) Will never get thin so she might as well give up?
c) Is more successful than you on your mutual dieting efforts so you want her to stop?
Will it be necessary to find a substitute high-protein chocolate main course (like the Mexican mole sauce that contains baking chocolate) for the traditional chocolate heart, so that her high-protein diet is not compromised? Will you be offended if the candy is re-gifted the following day to her office workers or the nice nurses taking care of her mother in an effort to avoid temptation? What if she gives in to the lure of munching on the gourmet chocolates in the beautiful box and two days later realizes that she has gained three pounds? Will this have a negative effect on your relationship?
Fortunately, it is not necessary to predict the response of the dieting recipient to a gift of chocolate. But the problem can be avoided altogether by choosing some of the other items now associated with the "day of love" that have no caloric consequences.
Diamonds make a nice gift, and one size fits all.