Dear Dr. G.,
I am scared to death. I recently found out that my
teenage daughter who is 15 is "hooking up" with boys and
having sex. I don't think she is having sex like intercourse
with all of them but at the very least she seems to be open
to sexuality. I feel that she is way too young and not ready
for this. I have told her my thoughts and feelings. Do you
think that I'm being prudish or crazy? I know that the teens
today are into "hook-ups" but listen we are talking about my kid
here.
What do you think Dr. G.?
A Frightened Mother
Dear Mother,
You are asking a very important and timely question. I do
not think that you are being either crazy or prudish. Instead,
I am happy that you are concerned about the connection
between teen sexuality and emotional well-being particularly in era of
of "hook-ups." For those who are not familiar with the term "hook-ups"it
refers to two individuals,usually teens, who engage in physical
intimacy while attempting to have no emotional connection.
I have been scratching my head over this concept for some time now.
In my practice, I see teenager after teenager both males and females
who have connected physically and then became disappointed and even
depressed when the physical intimacy did not lead to an emotional
connection. Look, any way you slice it the body, heart and mind are
connected and what you and all other parents need to do is to
teach your kids that physical intimacy can only rarely exist in an
emotional vacuum. Im more cases than not one of the partners will have
their tender feelings hurt. It is,of course, difficult to have sex
with someone on Saturday evening and then be ignored by that same
individual on Monday at school.
There is even research that supports the premise that in teens sexual
activity outside of the context of a romantic relationship may
be associated with depression. http://psycnet.apa.org/psycinfo/2012-25107-001/
My suggestion is for all of us to talk to our kids not only about the
mechanics of sex,STDs and birth control but also about the heart-body connection.
Good Luck,
Dr.G.
For more articles like this see my website:
http://drbarbaragreenberg.com/