Jesus' Cell Phone Found!

NBC science news report: Turkish archaeologists excavating an old church site have unearthed a stone chest which they claim contains a relic that may be part of the cross on which Jesus was crucified.

(Those Turkish archaeologists--remember they recently discovered the site of Noah's Ark?  Oh, this isn't like that bogus discovery of the Ark reported there decades earlier.)

Okay, I realize that this indicates we are on the verge of creating a tourist attraction to match Lourdes and the Shroud of Turin.

But that's nothing! I had the most realistc dream--a vision, really.  I dreamt that archeologists had found Jesus' cell phone!

All right--I can hear people scoffing.  But, remember, there are doubters of the miracles at Lourdes and of the authenticity of the Turin shroud (the fools!).

But, here's the proof.  Right there on the phone are the numbers of Mary Magdalene, Peter and Paul!  That's right, Bethlehem 2746, Jerusalem 97801, and Nazareth 86415.

In fact, there are phone messages!

"Hey, Jesus, this is Thomas. I've been thinking--are you really the Messiah, or just a skinny guy in a robe with a halo and a good line of patter?  Talk to you later."

"Jesus--I'll see you after the foot-washing.  I miss you so much, I plan on giving you a big kiss!  Oh, this is Judas."

"Jesus, Peter and Paul out on the road.  We want to tell you we're your biggest fans--ignore that Thomas and all the other naysayers.  We're spreading the word!"

"Jesus of Nazareth?  This is the Imperial tax collector.  Could you get down to the office to pay what you owe Caesar?  Thanks, we look forward to seeing you before long."

"Say, Jesus.  We're here at Cana in Galilee.  We're having a party, and I hate to say--we've run out of wine.  Any way you could help us out?"

But here's the biggest news of all!

"Jesus, this is Mary M.  I've lined up the rabbi for the wedding and assembled my trousseau.  I can't wait to see you!  I love you, honey buns."

Well, I guess that'll settle one old religious-historical dispute!

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P.S.

The thing i find most interesting about the rather childlike mentality of the progressives is that while all manner of ridicule will be attempted. And of course the hall mark of all intellectual conversations, name calling.

But never will they confront the beast...

Why not?

Afraid?

Like a good Christian should. I'm Jewish!