According to recent news, alleged Cleveland kidnapper Ariel Castro claims to be a sex addict. Every time one of these allegations hits the press, I fire back to say that it just ain't so. I sound like a broken record. I get that. But the sex addiction industry has spent decades teaching people that when they are in trouble, blaming their problems on sex addiction is an easy way out. For years, every time a celebrity has gotten in sexual trouble, somebody in the sex addiction treatment industry comes out and explains why those problems are the sad result of an addiction to sex.
For the past two years, I’ve been tilting at these windmills, riding my swaybacked steed, and calling BS on these claims. The label of sex addiction has become a convenient, fictional excuse and label, for almost anything bad or problematic associated with sex. I’ve called it a “Get out of jail free card,” and I hold the members of the sex addiction industry personally responsible for every instance in which sex addiction is used to excuse rape, murder, sexual abuse and sexual harassment. The sex addiction industry has done nothing to reign in these bogus claims and excuses.
Sex addiction treatment proponents often challenge me, and argue that they do in fact encourage their patients to take responsibility for their actions, and that for them, admitting sex addiction is often a step towards personal responsibility. This sounds great, and I believe they are genuinely trying to help. But the concept of sex addiction has become so grossly misused and abused by the general public and the media that the reality is quite different. As evidenced today, by the news that Cleveland, Ohio accused rapist and kidnapper Ariel Castro left a note in his home where he blamed his actions and problems on sex addiction, as well as even blaming the victims themselves for his actions. According to reports and allegations, this individual kidnapped and repeatedly raped three women, holding them captive in a sadistic manner, and he felt like his problems were that he couldn’t control his sexual desires? He blamed his actions on an addiction to sex?
Let’s all join in and say together – rape, kidnapping and torture are crimes, they are heinous acts that people engage in, they are NOT the result of a disease process related to sex. Liking sex, enjoying sex, using porn, or having fetishistic desires or fantasies do NOT lead people to engage in criminal acts. Sexual desires do not control people, or lead them to engage in criminal acts. The people who claim that sex, porn, and masturbation are a slippery slope of desires and cravings that are not controllable have created this monster. Every person who does awful things and blames it on sex addiction is doing so in response to the myth of sex addiction that has been created in our society. Society must push back, and must hold people accountable for their actions, and deny the attempt to say that sexual desires are an uncontrollable disease.
I can only hope that as the media pounces on this latest detail of what is sure to be long-running tabloid expose, that they treat this claim of sex addiction with scorn and dismissal. I hope that sex addiction therapists stand up and deny that this man’s actions had anything to do with sex, and everything to do with a disturbed and criminal person who viewed sex as just another way to control and hurt people. If sex addiction is raised in the criminal defense in this case, let us all continue to remind the media and courts that sex addiction is NOT a recognized disorder, and has no place in a court of law. To allow sex addiction to enter into this discussion treats these victims callously, and blames sex for their suffering, rather than placing the blame on the man who kidnapped, raped and imprisoned them.