We have made significant progress in understanding why people fight each other at work and at home. The application of this knowledge to human resources has resulted in new methods of conflict resolution among employees and corporate executives. These methods work well enough to reduce conflict significantly, potentially saving companies billions in personnel costs. Business consultants and human resource managers have used the methods with hundreds of companies on four continents.
Our methods evolved from advances in understanding the nature of human motivation. We define human motivation as the assertion of core values. In other words, we have learned many new details in how core values and human motives are connected. This knowledge is essential for reducing many conflicts at work, relationships, athletic teams, and parent and child.
We are a species motivated to assert our values. An American football player who values confrontation is motivated to knock down an opponent player even after the whistle has blown and doing so could mean a costly penalty. A married person with a strong sex drive is motivated to have sex with multiple partners even when he or she loves only one. An ambitious parent is motivated to instill achievement values in his or her offspring even after a laid-back teen has runaway to assert his or her freedom to become who he or she is.
At work the vast majority of conflicts are conflicts of values. One executive is expedient, but another resists cutting corners. One is detailed oriented, but another values the big picture. One favors making decisions quickly, but the other values consensus building. One values risk taking, but the other values caution.
Personnel conflicts in large companies are very costly. Instead of paying two highly talented people to expand the business, the company is paying them while they secretly plot against each other.
We have made significant advances in reducing conflicts. We cannot completely eliminate the value conflicts, which are deeply rooted in human nature. What we can do is reduce misunderstanding and significantly reduce the intensity of the conflict.